Lauren's Story

Lauren and her partner were already parents to two children, working with Social Worker Steph from our Home-based Family Support (HBFS) team in Dunedin, when they welcomed their third child.

We asked Lauren to provide us with some feedback when she was preparing to exit our services; this is what she shared about her parenting journey and how we were able to help.

Lauren told us. “I was referred to Anglican Family Care approximately two years ago now. I’m a mum to three boys:

aged seven, three and one.

It can be wild at times and no matter how many kids you have you still feel like a first-time mum each time. So, we needed support when my third son was born, and Anglican Family Care were amazing.

I did the Circle of Security (CoS) course with them. We have had many obstacles along the way (health and personal issues) but my Social Worker Steph accommodated all our needs and helped us get there in the end.”

“Lauren was referred to HBFS by Paediatrics back in March 2021. When we first started working together, Lauren had two children, and not long into our work together she and her partner Josh welcomed a new baby into the family. It was a very busy household and Lauren and Josh were wanting support to help manage the challenges of raising a young family and navigate the different ages and stages that the boys were going through.” Social Worker - Steph.

“I really needed help due to not having family support. I had quite a traumatic childhood, so some of my parenting responses were due to me not dealing with my own problems. Steph helped me find a counsellor which was great, and I got started on that whilst starting the Circle of Security course. The help was amazing. I went from a mum who appeared in fight or flight mode all the time, highly sleep-deprived (I had breastfed for two and a half years which really drained me), was stressed out due to personal problems, and was someone who was always tense and always cleaning” Lauren recalls.

“A large part of our work together was working through the Circle of Security Parenting Programme. At first, Lauren and I started this together and then we agreed that it would be beneficial for Josh to also participate. Thankfully, his work schedule allowed for this. They had more than their fair share of challenges thrown at them while we were plodding our way through CoS. At times this meant that CoS got put on hold as we needed to focus on other priorities.

What I really noticed throughout our work together was how well they were both able to put into practice what they were learning, even though there were periods when we had to put CoS aside for weeks at a time.

They worked so well together to support each other in keeping on track. By the end of the programme, the shift in them both was obvious. They were communicating better as a couple and really able to recognise the needs the boys were communicating through their behaviour.

The household was a lot calmer, and I could really see Josh and Lauren delighting in their children.” Social Worker - Steph.

“I now am able to have a healthy emotional response to my children. Take time to actually stop and think about the reason behind the behaviour, rather than the behaviour itself. I have a much clearer mind now, and I was able to work through some of my own stuff while doing this course.

I did this course with my partner of seven years, he really enjoyed it too. We have both matured and have become amazing parents to our children. My seven-year-old has ADHD so I first reached out to Anglican Family Care around Circle of Security, so that I could find better ways for me to communicate with my son and to help rebuild our relationship. I cannot tell you enough how much this course has helped.

I am feeling closer than ever with my kids now. There are so many ‘delight in me’, ‘watch me moments’, to be able to slow down and enjoy each of those moments is a blessing. The repair chapter was a great one as well, it taught me many things as an adult. For example, if I make a mistake and yell or do something, I shouldn't need to be setting a [poor] example to my child.

[I can] apologise for what happened and do better - imagine if your parents apologised to you when they shouldn’t have? It is quite powerful. I would highly recommend this service to others.”

Lauren and Josh's experience with Home-based Family Support service has had a profound impact on their family. They now enjoy a deeper connection with their children and relish every moment of their journey together. And enthusiastically recommends Anglican Family Care's services to others seeking similar support.

Client names and images have been changed.