We all have times when our tamariki push our buttons! Kirsty has come across an awesome resource that you may find helpful when faced with challenging behaviours.

PACE has 4 principles

P – Playfulness - when we are stressed by behaviour, we can forget our own sense of humour, which can do so much to defuse tension. It can be as simple as keeping your tone of voice light rather than stern or it can be making time for fun, which can change the mood. creating shared joy and being playful when it feels right. Playfulness strengthens relationships and builds co-operation. It also helps to regulate and balance the body, and makes it easier to focus and problem-solve.

A – Acceptance – This does not mean accepting unsafe behaviours, rather accepting the thoughts, wishes, needs, motivations and feelings that your tamariki may have or be communicating through their behaviour. It means acknowledging the struggle, rather than trying to persuade them to cooperate. Thoughts & feelings

need  acceptance, actions may need limits.

C - Curiosity – Curiosity involves wondering and asking what’s going on for your tamariki. It helps explore what’s going on beneath the behaviour. Curiosity is not; judging, evaluating your tamariki's behaviour, assuming. Curiosity is; exploring what has happened and the thoughts & feelings, keeping an open mind about what is underneath the behaviour.

E - Empathy – Empathy involves showing that you are listening and are tuned into your tamariki’s feelings. It shows that you care, which helps build connection. It can transform emotions, situations and relationships. When you are empathic you validate your child and their experience. Instead of- denying, explaining or avoiding difficult feelings, try - Giving the feeling a name. Empathy helps our tamariki find solutions themselves, whilst knowing there is someone who trusts them and will support them.