“A friend is one of the nicest things you can have and one of the best things you can be.” -Winnie The Pooh
To develop good friendships, now and later, it is important children begin developing the following skills:
- Self-control: being able to wait for what they want, using words to express their feelings rather than acting disruptively or misbehaving, giving others a turn with toys.
- Welcoming: being able to approach and respond to others positively (eg with a smile and greeting such as ‘hello’).
- Assertiveness: being able to say what they would like.
- Consideration: being able to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, taking turns, being able to lead and follow what others want to do, being able to cooperate and share.
- Play skills: being willing to take part in games and make suggestions for play.
- Communicating: talking and listening to others in a friendly way, saying something to start a conversation.
- Helping: being willing to help others.
- Prediction: being able to understand how others might be feeling based on their behaviour, being able to predict how their behaviour might affect others.
- Thinking: such as about alternatives when things go wrong (eg if other children want to play something different, thinking of whether to join them or find someone else to play with).
- Coping: being able to respond to rejection, disappointment or disapproval without experiencing too much distress, or winning without gloating.
- Empathy: being able to respond to others’ feelings with understanding.
- Flexibility: being open to hearing or learning about other points of view or ways of doing things.
It takes a long time to learn these skills and we continue to develop them well into adulthood. We can help children develop these skills by being aware of what friendship and empathy skills they are developing, playing with them and giving some gentle coaching when children are really struggling with something.
Children develop these skills through daily experiences at Pre-School and at home.
The link below is a great guide to helping support children to make good friendships and develop empathy.
https://www.kidsmatter.edu.au/sites/default/files/public/KMC2-201205-02_friendships-supporting.pdf