Dear Family and whanau
The recent death of Lucas Gilfedder has had a notable impact on many in the community. I know that all of us extend our sympathy and aroha to Lucas’ family. I have also been grateful for the support that students and staff have offered each other. Supporting our community members is our priority. We will continue to seek advice from the Ministry of Education’s Traumatic Incident Team whose help and advice has been excellent.
At Lucas’ funeral, the celebrant spoke of Lucas’ death being a suicide. The Coroner’s Office has not yet determined the cause of death and I do want to remind the community that it can be harmful and deeply hurtful for any speculation to occur as to how Lucas’ death occurred.
I do want to take this opportunity to remind the community that suicide, if it occurs, is a very complicated act. It can often be caused by a mental health difficulty or complex and ongoing problems that can prevent a person from thinking clearly about how to solve their problems. Sometimes mental health or other problems can go unnoticed however, there are a number of ways we can help.
Some of the warning signs that suggest the need for further support include:
- Hopelessness or helplessness
- Social withdrawal and isolation
- Loss of involvement in interests and activities
- Increased risk–taking
- Heavy use of drugs or alcohol
- Abrupt changes in appearance
- Sudden weight or appetite change
- Sudden changes in personality or attitude
- Inability to concentrate or think rationally
- Sudden unexpected happiness
- Sleeplessness or sleepiness
- Increased irritability or crying easily
- Abrupt changes in school attendance
- Dwindling academic performance
- Lack of interest and withdrawal
- Giving away prized possessions
- Making final arrangements
- Talking, reading, creating artwork or writing about death
Behaviours such as this suggest the need for assistance and especially as we head into the school holidays, it is important that members of the community have access to the list below of places to access help.
- Lifeline – 0800 543 354
- Youthline – 0800 376 633, free text 234 or email talk@youthline.co.nz
- Samaritans – 0800 726 666
- Suicide Crisis Helpline – 0508 828 865
- Need to talk? Free call or text 1737 support from a trained counsellor
- What's Up – 0800 942 8787 (5–18 year olds). Phone counselling Monday to Friday, midday–11pm and weekends, 3pm–11pm.
- Kidsline – 0800 54 37 54 for young people up to 18 years of age. Open 24/7.
- thelowdown.co.nz – or emailteam@thelowdown.co.nz or free text 5626
- Anxiety New Zealand - 0800 269 4389
If it is an emergency or you, or someone you know, is at immediate risk call 111.
We do understand that some boys have been asking their parents about the general topic of suicide and there is information at this link about how suicide can be discussed.
Lucas’ death does emphasise our role of caring for others. We have talked about being good listeners, showing empathy and referring our students and friends to counsellors or other professionals for support.
Arohanui
Nic Hill
Headmaster