Life as a year 11-13 student was probably already stressful enough, and then along came the coronavirus (COVID-19) to add even more uncertainty.

This article is based on a post by Dr Amy Burton, Clinical Psychologist, which you can find at www.reachout.com, Australia’s leading online mental health organisation for young people and their parents.

Life as a year 11-13 student was probably already stressful enough, and then along came the coronavirus (COVID-19) to add even more uncertainty. You may be finding the resulting situation really hard to deal with.

You might be experiencing fear of the future in the short term (next week, next term) as well as in the distant future (end of the year, 2021, and beyond). As a result, you may be experiencing a range of different emotions, including stress, fear, uncertainty, depression, frustration, anger and disappointment.

While these emotions are understandable, they are also very distracting and can have negative impacts on our health and mood. Worrying about the future gets in the way of enjoying and making the most of the present. Luckily, there are some strategies for managing our worries about the future so that we are able to re-focus on and enjoy the present as much as possible.

Ways to cope

Feel prepared, come what may

For those of us who cope by having a plan, it might be helpful to sit down and write yourself two plans: Plan A (what you would want to do if things were ‘normal’) and Plan B (your best choice of what to do if things aren’t ‘normal’). Consider your Plan B to be a productive or fun way to spend the next period of time if you aren’t able to implement Plan A, for whatever reason.

For example, your Plan A might be to travel overseas, or move out of home and into a university hall, or move to a new city for work/study; while your Plan B might be to complete some online training/study, gain new skills and work on creative projects with the intention of switching to Plan A six to 12 months later. Try to see your Plan B as an opportunity to upskill yourself and to work on some personal projects and goals while you wait to revert to Plan A at a slightly later date. The aim isn’t to give up on Plan A, but rather to put it on pause for a little while. If you are unsure of a good Plan B, talk to your family, a teacher you get on well with, a counsellor or the Careers/Future Pathways Department about it.

Be balanced and compassionate in your thinking

It’s important to be kind to yourself and realistic in your thinking. When you notice that you are worrying, say to yourself: ‘It’s understandable that I’m feeling stressed, as this is a very unusual and uncertain situation to be in. What’s the best thing I can do right now to take care of myself and to help me feel better?’

Try to be as kind and supportive when speaking to yourself as you would be if you were talking with your best friend.

Improve the moment

If you find yourself getting bogged down in worries and negativity, try to improve the moment by doing something nice for yourself. Watch a funny YouTube video, watch a Netflix movie, play a game you enjoy, or spend time on an interesting hobby or craft.

Focus on your surroundings

Right now, it’s normal, but also pretty overwhelming to be thinking about what might happen in the future. It can be helpful to focus your attention on what’s immediately around you and disconnect from the outside world for a bit. Consciously focus your attention on your classroom, bedroom, kitchen (wherever you are at the time) and think only about the task at hand (whether that’s your school work, caring for your pets or plants, enjoying a hot chocolate, or working on a creative project).

Slow down to be in the ‘now’

Spending a lot of time on screens in the afternoon and evening can lead to a feeling of frenzy and stress. Remember to slow down by practising some breathing exercises, journalling, doing stretching, yoga or a mindfulness meditation. These activities will reduce physical tension and the bodily symptoms of stress and help to clear your mind.

Take control in your own world

Have a few things in your life that you are in control of. Examples include keeping your room or desk tidy, organising/cleaning out a space in the house, de-cluttering your wardrobe/makeup, or making a plan that you stick to, such as messaging three friends each day, taking the dog for a walk, learning a new skill or mastering a recipe/dance move/fitness goal. 

Practise an ‘Attitude of Gratitude’

It’s really easy right now to think that everything is pretty bad, but it’s usually possible to find things, big and small, to be grateful for. Starting a gratitude journal (it can just be a note on your phone) will help you to refocus on the good things in life. Start by listing three things each day that you are grateful for.

Engage in random acts of kindness

Engaging in daily or weekly random acts of kindness will enable you to bring something good or positive into the world, and give you some sense of control. Ideas include making a gift for someone, sending a kind/encouraging message, contributing to community support projects, or helping out a family member or friend with something they are working on.

How quickly we forget!

If you are good at intentions but quickly forget to follow through (as we often do!), support your intentions with positive and simple strategies like post-it notes, reminders on your phone, family/friends to check in and see how you’re tracking on your goal.

Stay connected

Your friends may well be experiencing similar worries and it can really help to talk about it together and support each other. If you don’t feel comfortable talking with friends about your concerns, you can get some support online via such free services as https://www.sparx.org.nz (help with anxiety and low mood) or - thelowdown.co.nz – or email team@thelowdown.co.nz or free text 5626

Get support

You don’t have to work everything out by yourself! Talk to someone ‘in the know’, such as a teacher, your Year level Dean, Mrs Thatcher in Careers/Future Pathways thl@cghs.school.nz or one of the counsellors in Te Whare Hauora fdj@cghs.school.nz or (027) 3528 027, and ask for their advice and suggestions. If you are feeling really overwhelmed, it could help to speak with a mental health professional who can help support you through this tricky time.

Remember, you can also talk to any of the following free mental health services: 

• Youthline – 0800 376 633 or free text 234. 
• Depression Helpline – 0800 111 757 or free text 4202. 
• Need to talk? Free call or text 1737 support from trained counsellor. 
• What's Up – 0800 942 8787 (5–18 year olds). Phone counselling Monday to Friday, midday–11pm and weekends, 3pm–11pm.
• Kidsline – 0800 54 37 54 for young people up to 18 years of age. Open 24/7.

It’s important to remember:

• We are all in this together.
• It’s completely understandable if you are having a hard time coping with all of the uncertainty right now.
• It’s okay to be unsure about what you are going to do next year.
• The Ministry of Education and NZQA are working hard to ensure that exams and assessments are fair and clear for all.

It may be difficult to stay calm and focused when the world around you is in chaos, and it’s challenging to accept that we can’t predict the future right now. However, it can help to remember that you are still in control of your own path, and that there are lots of different pathways to study and to work.

Although things will look a little different from how you imagined they would be, or how you had planned, we can usually find our own way to get to where we want to go, even if it takes a little longer than we had first hoped. For now, focus on the things that you can control and trust that, no matter what happens, you’ll be able to cope.