A poem by Nicola Thorstensen

For my birthday, Father promised me a pet,

but I just couldn’t decide what to get.

I didn’t want a Lorax; far too preachy,

and as for a Sneetch, well, far too…. Sneetchy.

So I decided he should choose, because he’s old and wise,

and when he brought it home, I was in for a surprise:

I saw the sweetest eyes peeking from the box,

soft fur like a badger, and tail like a fox.

But when I tried to pat it, the little fellow bit me!

Then it took my pocket money, sacked the maid, and hit me!

In horror I watched it transform before my eyes;

it was a nasty creature once it threw off its disguise.

Said Daddy, all confusion, as it nicked the camembert,

then took off for the Continent to cause some havoc there:

“I wish the chap I bought it from had warned me to desex it,

but sorry, darling Scarlet, I thought you’d love a Brexit.”