Caitlin O'Brien, Columba College

Oh how we praise ye o’er a feed
Ne’er north o’ the Waitaki
Can we try suppress our greed?
Cheese, Breed, onion.
Divine kowhai among the weeds,
Your dominion

Feed those paying two dollars, four.
Fed are those who keep the law,
Fed are those who leave it ignored
English, Shadbolt.
Weel worthy o’ a grace so short,
Jewel o’ this fault.

Oh gods wha shaw mankind yer might,
And plan our destined path o’ flight
Auld Southland wants nae Vegemite
That tastes of coal.
Feijoa stocks are scarce and shite,
Gie her a cheese Roll!