Tank was a pug.

With attitude.

She wore a tutu and a tiara.

Sometimes she farted when she walked.

Paaarp, paaarp, paaarp – like a squeaky shoe.

Tank wanted to become a Highlander, so she went to join the team.

There was a big sign up on the rugby ground. It said: NO DOGS ALLOWED.

Tank soon fixed that.

Tank ran onto the field.

“Hey!” yelled Coach. “No dogs allowed!”

“No,” said The Highlanders, pointing to the sign. “Oh! Dogs allowed!”

Tank raced to get the ball.

“Hey!” yelled Coach. “No teeth on the ball!”

Tank closed her eyes, scrunched up her face, and butted the ball with her head.

“Oh, brother,” groaned Coach.

But the ball sailed across the field to The Highlanders, who scored a goal.

“Is everyone ready for the big game tonight?” yelled Coach.

“Wuff!” said Tank.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” said Coach. “You’re a dog!”

“But she’s our secret weapon,” said The Highlanders. “She’ll help us win for sure.”

“FINE,” said Coach. “But she can’t wear that stupid tiara!”

The stadium was full of people. The Highlanders scored a goal.

“Yay!” the people roared.

Then the other team scored a goal.

“Booo!” the people hissed.

Tank ran up and down the field, passing the ball here, there and everywhere with her hefty head-butts. But by the end of the game, the teams were tied.

With seconds left on the clock, the ball landed at Tank’s paws. Tank looked up at the goal posts.

“Come on, Tank!” cheered The Highlanders. “You can do it!”

But Tank knew that not even her heftiest head-butt would get the ball through the goal posts.

There was only one thing left to do.

She turned around, positioned her bottom in front of the ball, and left out one almighty fart.

PPAAAARRRRRFFFFT!

The ball blasted into the sky. It hung in the air for just a second, and then it floated to the left . . . and then to the right . . . until it drifted down to the ground. The crowd cheered, and the whistle blew.

“We’ve won!” yelled Coach. “Well done, Tank!”

Tank was the first Highlander to score a goal in such an unusual way.

She was also the first Highlander to wear a tiara.