Well being starts with us.

In the last newsletter I posted this photo:

Since then I’ve been thinking about what it means to be the nice kid.

The dictionary definition of Nice is “pleasant; delightful; agreeable” and is closely affiliated to “kind”. Of course, all of those values are aspects we’d be proud to see our children display to their whanau and friends as well as striving to be pleasant to others ourselves.

But how about being kind TO ourselves?

It has been my experience that, until we understand something personally, it is difficult to demonstrate that quality for others. In other words, if I haven’t experienced kindness, I can’t display kindness to others because I don’t know how valuable it is.

It seems we quickly label people as selfish when they are seen to put themselves first. If my friend tells me she’s switching her phone off and won’t be available for a while, my thoughts are immediately negative. Have I done something wrong? Is my friend isolating herself? I don’t congratulate her for identifying her need for her own space. We don’t want to advertise that we spend time doing something just for ourselves: yet, if we’re kind to others, it’s seen as Good.

But if we aren’t kind – nice - to ourselves first, how can we be kind to others?

And this is the centre of that buzz word of 2019: Wellbeing.

Wellbeing starts with us. When we look after ourselves then we are in a much better position to help others. In fact, it isn’t selfish to be nice to ourselves: it’s essential.

It is only when our own jug is full that we can help to fill others’.