Students are empowered with the knowledge that they do know the difference between right and wrong and more often than not, know what is the right and best thing to do in most situations.

Often, in place of informative interactions with children, we simply play the boss and direct behaviour. This often results in children who don't think for themselves, have little initiative and ask fewer questions, can't work without direction and constant feedback, have difficulty solving problems and predicting the probable outcomes of their words and actions. 

What value is wealth if our children are poor in values? 

KNOWING RIGHT FROM WRONG
The first step on a child’s journey towards independent, self-managed behaviour is to recognise that they do know right from wrong.  Children are empowered when they not only know right from wrong, but can also make themselves do the right thing even when they don’t want to. For this to happen, children have to believe that doing the right thing is invariably the best thing to do. 

Encouraging children to notice and understand the positive outcomes of their own, and other’s appropriate and right behaviour, can nurture this belief. Giving them ample evidence that right is best, both for them and the community in which they live cements the belief. We are doing well as adults when our children answer the question, “Why do you do the right thing?” by saying something like, “Because I feel good doing it,” or “Because it’s the best thing to do.” I fear too many would answer, “Because I’ll get into trouble if I don’t.” or “My Mum (or some other adult figure) told me to.” or “I’ll get something nice if I do.” 

We can, through careful guidance, help children to feel powerful every time they do the right and best thing. Children who only do the right thing for fear of getting into trouble or because they will get a reward, feel decidedly powerless, I suggest. These children regain their sense of power by deliberately saying or doing the wrong thing. This is invariably happening when the authority figure is not present or when a reward is not forthcoming. 

Authority figures, who use a big stick to maintain their authority, are usually reluctant to put it down and the pressure of maintaining their authority has them frequently looking for a bigger stick. Authority dependent children, who see adults and the control they exert as the pinnacle of power, often lose the motivation to be independent and self-regulating and opt for the less challenging role of being too eager to please, indecisive with a fragile personality that needs constant reassurance and support if they are to function with any degree of effectiveness. 

If that is not the case, they can sometimes become those disengaged, aggressive, contrary and disillusioned children who indulge in dangerous behaviours and conflicts that generate the distracting feelings of excitement and power; feelings that will hopefully serve as an antidote to the painful emptiness that would otherwise be present. 

By adopting processes that help children to recognise the social and emotional benefits of doing what is right and best, we can help them to be the masters of their own behaviour. By helping them to understand that by knowingly doing the wrong thing they disadvantage and weaken themselves and others, we can turn them towards finding the strength to do the right thing. 

THE TALK THAT HELPS THE WALK (Scenarios)
In my early relationships with students I try to get them to recognise that they do know right from wrong and that I expect them to act upon that information. In all the following scenarios, T = Teacher Scenario 

Scenario 1:  Mary is busy doing her work.
T: Mary, are you doing the right thing or wrong thing?
M: (Looks up confused. Why would the teacher be asking if she was indeed doing the right thing? Mary thinks for a while; unsure of the answer, she hedges her bet and says meekly with a question in her voice) Right thing?
T: Say that again Mary, please. But this time, trust yourself and say it confidently as a fact, not a question, please.
M: Right thing.
T: You’re right Mary, thank you. Please continue with your work. 

Scenario 2 Billy and John are distracting each other.
T: Billy and John, are you doing the right thing or the wrong thing?
B: Wrong thing.
T: John?
J: Wrong.
T: I’m glad you both know that. It would have been worrying if you didn’t. The big question now is, are you strong enough to do the right thing? John?
J: Yes.
T: Billy?
B: Yes. (With a giggle)
T: The giggle worries me, Billy. It tempts me to doubt you. Let me ask you again and please take charge of the giggle before you answer. (Asks question again)
B: Yes.
T: I believe you and trust you will do it. Thank you.

By Wilson McCaskill