Cyberbullying
Let's take a look at Cyber-bullying.
What is Cyberbullying?
Cyberbullying is using technology to bully or hurt someone else.
This can include:
- Sending/sharing nasty, hurtful or abusive messages or emails
- Humiliating others by posting/sharing embarrassing videos or images
- Spreading rumours or lies online
- Setting up fake online profiles
- Excluding others online
How do I identify whether what is happening is Cyberbullying?
It's important to understand that not all hurtful behaviour is bullying whether online or off. Signe Whitson (a child and adolescent therapist and author) states that there is a real need to draw a distinction between behaviour that is rude, behaviour that is mean and behaviour that is characteristic of bullying.
- When someone says or does something unintentionally hurtful and they do it once or twice, that is rude. In children this takes the form of social errors, e.g., jumping ahead in line, bragging about achieving the highest grade or throwing a crushed up pile of leaves in someone's face. The critical factor? Incidents of rudeness are usually spontaneous, unplanned inconsideration, based on thoughtlessness or poor manners but not meant to actually hurt someone.
- Being mean involves purposefully saying or doing something to hurt someone once (or maybe twice). Unlike unthinking rudeness, mean behaviour very much aims to hurt or depreciate someone. Often, mean behaviour in kids is motivated by angry feelings and/or the misguided goal of propping themselves up in comparison to the person they are putting down.
- Intentionally aggressive behaviour, repeated over time, that involves an imbalance of power is bullying. Kids who bully say or do something intentionally hurtful to others and they keep doing it, with no sense of regret or remorse — even when targets of bullying show or express their hurt or tell the aggressors to stop. Whitson gives examples of multiple kinds of bullying, including physical and verbal aggression, relational aggression (like social exclusion or rumour spreading), and cyberbullying. The key aspect to all of them is the ongoing nature of the behaviour, which leaves the victims feeling powerless and fearful.
What makes Cyberbullying so hurtful?
While any type of bullying can be hurtful, cyberbullying can hurt someone just as much as physical or verbal bullying because:
- It’s public – lots of people can see it
- It spreads quickly
- It can be hard to escape
- The bully can be anonymous
- Removing it can be a difficult process
Netsafe is New Zealand’s independent, non-profit online safety organisation. They have a couple of great articles for parents on cyberbullying, that are well worth a read (see below). Netsafe are there to help and are a place you can go to, to get advice or to report any online incidents.