A message from our Counsellor: Holger Korth
The Covid-19 pandemic is like nothing we have ever faced before. We have moved into Covid-19 Alert Level 4, which means that for the next four weeks we have been instructed to stay at home and all educational facilities including King’s High school are closed.
The school term break will be brought forward. The break will be from Monday 30th March to Tuesday 14th April. For the remainder of this term the school has established ways to deliver teaching online and remotely.
We are all entering a four week lockdown to combat the spread of Covid-19. This means that every single one of us now must act and unite. At King’s we have been preparing for this, and we would like to offer some ideas for you to support your sons through this time.
It’s easy to imagine that being at home for four weeks can at times give rise to frustration, agitation and perhaps at times even anxiety and anger. These are normal reactions in a really unusual situation.
If you feel overwhelmed and need extra support, please seek professional help. Generally your family doctor is a good starting point. You can also call or text 1737 anytime for support from a trained counsellor.
At King’s High School, online and/or phone counselling will be available between the hours of 9am-5pm, Monday-Friday, during term time. If you would like to make a booking to speak to a counsellor please email kh@kingshigh.school.nz or call 027-712-3449.
Please note that if your son is currently under a mental health service such as Youth Specialty Services, ongoing phone support will remain available .
In an emergency and/or if your son requires mental health support, call Youthline 0800 376 633 or the hospital freephone 0800 467 846, press 2, & ask for the Emergency Psychiatric Service.
If you or a family member is feeling physically unwell call your family doctor or Healthline 0800 358 5453.
To find help and advice about the COVID-19 situation in New Zealand the fastest way is the government website https://covid19.govt.nz/help-and-advice/for-everyone/understanding-covid-19/ If you are unable to find what you need, and are not sure who to contact for help, call the free government helpline on:
0800 779 997 or on 0800 22 66 57 (8am–1am, 7 days a week).
Managing strong emotions at home
Life is not going to continue as we know it for the next four weeks. Dealing with strong emotions such as anxiety, frustration and anger can be challenging especially when choices are limited and we are constricted in close proximity.
Here are some tips:
1. Keep things in perspective
The government is doing everything it can to manage Covid-19. This includes
Everyone should stay at home. This is the best thing we can all do to stop the spread of COVID-19. This will save lives.
There is also financial support available to those who need it https://covid19.govt.nz/government-actions/financial-support/
You can find out more about COVID-19 support on the Work and Income website
2. Limit the amount of time you and your whanau watch Covid-19 coverage
Constantly checking the news may feel like asserting control over events but it can exacerbate anxiety. Try not to ‘snack’ on news and feed yourself a constant diet of Covid-19 updates.
Listen to clear government messages and access reputable sources such as:
3. Stay calm
Children and young people will copy us. Your son may be worried or anxious about what is going on, and the most important thing he needs is for the adults around him to be calm, positive and supportive.
We have a responsibility as adults to model good behaviour and this is a chance to step-up. Parents/Caregivers are role models. We are regulators for the young people entrusted into our care. Parents are the barometer for how children will react. This means we have to watch our own reactions. We need to make sure that first and foremost we manage ourselves well. Everyone is feeling the effects of stress and uncertainty at this time. Offer reassurance and be empathetic. Reassure your son that everything is being done that can be done. If you are an adult, try to do what you can to model calm.
4. Stay in the moment
Ruminations take us back to things that have happened. In contrast we worry forward about things that could happen. As much as possible bring yourself back to what you are doing in the moment whether it is playing a board game with the family or cooking dinner. If you stay focused on the activity it is quite hard to let ruminations or worry get away on you. The best place to live is right here, right now.
5. Consider starting family/whanau/household projects
Parents take the lead in what household dynamics look like. For teenagers it can be tempting to self-isolate and stay in their room. This can lead to social isolation and negatively affect mental health. Get your son involved in family/whanau projects such as gardening, stacking wood, cooking or playing games. At the same time make sure everyone is getting the space they need. It’s a balancing act.
6. Stay in touch through technology
Encourage your teen to connect with friends and loved ones online. At times of crisis we have a psychological drive to connect with people who are important to us. We feel comfortable when we attach to people who are meaningful to us (remember to guide, supervise and support your teen with social media).
7. Ground yourself
Make a list of what is calming and makes you feel good. If you get hijacked by strong emotions try an item on the list you created. This might include for example listening to music/podcasts, talking to people, spending time in nature or in the sun.
Practice a breathing exercise:
Breathe in through the nose for 4 seconds.
Hold the breath for a count of 7 seconds.
Exhale through the mouth for 8 seconds.
Repeat the cycle up to 4 times.
7. Talk about Covid-19 with your teen
Ask your son: “What do you already know?” Then you have an opportunity to correct him gently making sure your son is informed with accurate information.
You can have discussions within your family about what everyone is finding difficult and/or how different it is to be in lockdown compared to normal life.
8. Limit the amount of time your teen plays video games
Some distraction is helpful but there can be ‘too much of a good thing’. Replace some of the time playing video games with projects and activities . Keep coming up with things to keep your son occupied. Think creatively and keep him busy.
For further helpful strategies see:
We can’t control Covid-19 yet, but we can learn to live alongside it as long as we need to. Ask yourself “what do I need to do today to cope and have a good day?”
The most important thing you can do to support your child in this time is to spend time with them. Talk to them calmly, answering their questions as best you can and connect.
We will get through this. Let’s keep a strong sense of community, kindness and caring.
Thank you to the following for information contained in this letter: 'Real-time Resilience Strategies for Coping with Coronavirus'
Dr Lucy Hone & Dr Denise Quinlan, New Zealand Institute of Wellbeing & Resilience, March, 2020.
Kia Kaha - stay strong
Holger Korth
Counsellor/Kaiārahi
King’s High School