Na Vakamoce and Reminiscing

Vakamoce – the act of saying farewell.  Farewells in the islands are often an emotional experience, it’s as if the everything is saying goodbye! “Moce!” they would say “Moce, moce!” as if to emphasize the last goodbyes that they had already said. Grandmothers, grandfathers, disliked uncles, best aunties, the whole family, standing at the beach, waving, swaying as the sound of the waves lapping, welcoming, and accentuating the inevitable.

These journeys have been like family heirlooms, retold as stories or shared as pictures. It starts with an “Itatau” – a function connotated with gifts and words of wisdom, bestowed upon by our elders, before leaving on your waka or in my case, an aeroplane. “Qai nanuma na lotu kei na vanua!” – “Hold fast to your faith and remember your people!” or sometimes farewells are often final goodbyes “Kua ni qai lesu tale mai, sa sega tale ni dua na ka mo lesuva mai!” – “Don’t come back there is nothing to come back to!”. These statements have often related to bringing back good fortune or in some cases a stark reality that the islands have become too small for everyone.

These statements are often meant to be a motivation, laden with “mana” and the good fortunes of the Whenua. So, with a regaled sense of purpose, you travel forward letting the waves and currents of the journey take you to a land of new opportunities. There are personal struggles that follow the storms of change, where the bestowed words of wisdom ring out and become your lighthouse – your beacon of hope. Because as you reminisce, you remember those life-changing moments and the “small things” that have truly become your guiding light.

The home-cooked meals that taught you about “good nutrition” or the “have you prayed?” reminders about spirituality. In our school it would have been the “pink late slips” that reminded us about punctuality; being told “pull up your socks!” a reminder about “self-respect”; performing the “school haka” an appreciation of culture; those dreaded “blue referral forms” about boundaries; the hour-long periods about “resilience” and the farewells about the inevitability of change; of leaving; of accepting that as your waka moves forward you might have to say “Moce”!