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Numbers

Yael Klangwisan —

A found poem based on the article, “On the wait, and the weight” by Leonie Hayden[1]


The days feel wrong and in the wrong order
so I fold washing
but the weight hasn’t gone away
since I choked on the spectres in my lungs


I look at memes and try to write
wonder if my neighbour lost her job
and wait
for the 1pm media update


I’ve cried for every
death
makes me feel guilty too
when a bus drove by carrying no one


The what-if’s in this
tenancy of weeks
where Instagram is a sea
and Twitter is full of people


He and I are more gentle
and more cruel
when it gets under our skin
the sound of him eating


But we bite our tongues
we cry and hope
lying on the bed at night
listening to Bob Dylan


The days feel wrong and in the wrong order
so I wrote a bad poem on my phone
words planted like a grid of nīkau palms
exactly 2 metres apart

Yael Klangwisan is a Senior Lecturer in the School of Education, Laidlaw College, and in Laidlaw Graduate School (Hebrew Bible). She is the author of articles and critical-creative works on French Literary engagements with Biblical Literature. She is the author of two books on the Song of Songs including Jouissance (Sheffield Phoenix, 2015). Her poetry and creative writing have been published in the journals, Hecate, Meniscus and forthcoming in The French Literary Review.

[1] This is a found poem constructed of words and phrases from the article by Leonie Hayden, “On the wait, and the weight” The Spin-Off (April 17, 2020): https://thespinoff.co.nz/atea/17-04-2020/on-the-wait-and-the-weight/