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by Gretchen Smith

Gretchen's Update

Gretchen Smith - March 9, 2022

Saying sorry is an important life skill.

Thursday 10  March /Rāpare 10 Poutū te Rangi / Aso Tofi 10  Mae / Huwebe 10 Maari 2021

Kia ora e te whānau

What interesting times we are navigating. I hope you are all riding the  Covid wave as best as you can, whether you have tested positive or you are home isolating or whether you are ok at the moment.

Big  Kia ora/Thank you

HUGE kia ora to the Gibbs and Beattie whānau for their mahi in removing our old playground.This kindness has saved our school a considerable amount of money. The saving will go towards our new courts and playground.

Home Learning:

Home learning packs are for those tamariki who are in home isolation because of Covid and are available by emailing me.

Absences:

Keeping your child at home because they might catch covid is not ok. The Ministry of Education has said that you need a medical certificate from your Doctor stating that you need to keep your child at home or send them back to school. Children are marked truant when they are away from school and they are not sick or at an appointment. After 20 days, the child will be referred to K3 Attendance Services and they will visit you on behalf of the Ministry of Education.

Saying Sorry/Apologising:

At school, one of the skills we try and teach our tamariki is to say sorry and take responsibility for his/her own behaviour. Saying sorry is an important life skill and sometimes it is a really hard thing to do.Some tamariki find it easier to do than others.

No matter how much we try to do all the right things, we mess up, we will be misunderstood, we will misunderstand, we will annoy someone, or we will hurt someone's feelings, whether we mean to or not.

It doesn’t matter what the problem was about, it matters what we do with all the feelings that resulted from it. It matters that we want to restore peace and build a relationship. It matters that we think the relationship is important enough to stop, apologise and take responsibility for our mistakes.

Saying sorry cannot undo some hurtful things that have been said or done but when done right, saying sorry has the power to cancel out the negative effects of those actions and repair the relationship that has been harmed.

Some people find saying sorry really hard because you have to admit  you were wrong, and it makes you feel embarrassed in front of the other person. You have to be brave to say sorry. Saying sorry can also be affected by the way each person says the problem e.g. one sees it as a big deal and the other not so much.Because of this, an apology still needs to happen to fix the relationship.

So, even if you think the other person’s feelings are unjustified, even if you didn’t mean it, or even if you have think you have a good excuse for doing or saying what you did, an apology still needs to happen,

What’s Not an Apology:

  • “If I hurt you, I’m sorry.” There’s no ownership here, no clear message that you understand what you did to hurt the other person.
  • “I’m sorry you feel that way.” This is not an apology and will upset  the other person further.No responsibility.
  • Using the word “but” during an apology. “I’m so sorry I called you that name, but…” That word “but” cancels out all you said before it. You’re making an excuse and blaming, not apologising.

What is an apology:

The longer you leave an apology the harder it will be. A heart felt apology has three parts .

  1. I am sorry for . . . Aroha mai . . .
  2. Say what you did or your part in it- taking responsibility
  3. Say what you will do differently

'Saying sorry' restores relationships.

Take very good care of yourself and your whānau.

Be safe, be kind and fair.


Gretchen Smith