Your son may be too young to understand who the Queen is; your son may be very aware of who the Queen is and feel very saddened by her passing; your son may know who the Queen is but may not be very interested in the monarchy and what they do. Whatever your, and your son’s views are, the death of the Queen is a significant topic of conversation at the moment so it could be of value to talk about it with your son.

Here are some ideas to guide you:

• If you have not done so already, take the time to talk with your son about what has happened and answer any questions he has. If he chooses not to talk about the Queen’s passing this is fine, yet it would be important for him to know that he can if he wishes to.

• It could be helpful to explain to your son that everyone’s reaction to the Queen’s death will be individual and personal to them. Some people will be very sad and some people may not be very interested. People will have different views on the Queen’s passing, depending on their stance toward the monarchy and commonwealth. Be guided by your son’s age and interest as to how much you talk about this.

• This could be a valuable opportunity to talk to your son about a range of topics including: the Queen as a role model of duty and service to others; personal memories of the Queen or stories about her life; the monarchy, royalty and British history; different ways of coping with change, grief and loss; New Zealand’s connection to the Crown and Commonwealth; or even corgis and castles!

• Depending on his access to media, it may be important to let your son know that there will be an increased amount of information about this event at the moment. Due to this there may also be an increased amount of opinions expressed, which are likely to cover a range of views. I would encourage you to let your son know he can talk to you about this if need be.

The Queen’s passing may or may not be an event that impacts your son but it is important to check in and give your son the chance to talk about things so that he knows you are there to support him. Whatever our own personal views are, I think there can be agreement that The Queen was an extraordinary person who dedicated her entire life to others. 

Image sourced from: https://www.ashburtondc.govt.nz/

Jenelle Hooson

Jenelle is a Registered Provisional Member with NZAC (New Zealand Association of Counsellors).

If you wish to discuss the services the School Counsellor can provide, please see your son’s homeroom teacher or Scott Johnson: scott.johnson@medbury.school.nz.