Planning for change
Change is a fairly constant theme in these newsletters, just as change is a fairly constant theme in our lives.
Without mentioning the obvious worldwide changes that have happened in recent years, your son's life is full of change. Whether it be preparing for high school; getting used to a new teacher, coach or sports team; the changing nature of friendships; moving house; the loss of a loved one, change is inevitable. This newsletter focuses on preparing your son for change and making a plan for change - skills that will be useful for your son throughout his life. Whilst previous newsletters have talked about coping with change (see links at the bottom of this newsletter) this newsletter focuses on planning for change.
Talk to your son about possible changes
Make the time to talk with your son about changes that are about to take place, or even likely to occur, and brainstorm the possible impacts of this. For example, if you have an upcoming holiday or weekend away planned, talk about the fact that illness or COVID-19 may impact the holiday and let your son ask questions about what would happen if this was the case. Make sure you check in with your son, giving him the opportunity to ask further questions if need be and listen to any concerns he has as well. Whilst your son might feel some worry, having such a discussion is important so that if travel plans do need to change, then he is prepared for this.
Include your son in preparations for change
Let your son know that he is a part of upcoming changes and help him to prepare for it. For example, if you are expecting a baby soon or your son is heading off to high school next year, make a timeline with a list of things that will need to occur for this change to happen successfully. Include your son in the planning and give him choices. For example: Would your son like to help choose some baby clothes for his younger sibling? Would he like to attend a school visit prior to starting at his new school? This way your son will feel that he has some agency and control over changes that are happening, rather than simply feeling that the change is happening to him.
Keep routines and connections consistent
To help your son, and yourself, to achieve positive change, it is important to maintain regular routines such as bedtimes, mealtimes and other daily routines. As part of this, make sure that you continue to connect with your son and make time for him each day. This will help your son to feel secure even though there are changes happening.
Whilst your son is still a child it is important that he sees adults giving him a role and some choices in changes that happen in his life. This will help him to cope with current changes as well as those in the future. Change can often be challenging so I hope that this newsletter helps you to manage changes as positively as possible.
Below are the key points from, and links to, previous newsletters on how to cope with change that has happened:
Positively managing change and uncertainty
Make space for, and acknowledge, the impact of change
Have empathy for others, and yourself, as you cope with change
Be constructive and positive in your communication about change
Coping with events beyond our control
Use your support team and talk to people you trust
Look at things a different way, such as what are the positives and what can be learned from this change
Problem Solve
Image sourced from: https://www.freepik.com/
Jenelle Hooson
Jenelle is a Registered Provisional Member with NZAC (New Zealand Association of Counsellors).
If you wish to discuss the services the School Counsellor can provide, please see your son’s homeroom teacher or Scott Johnson: scott.johnson@medbury.school.nz.