Last week I presented in assembly and explained to students the difference between thoughts and facts, and how they influence our emotions. I encouraged students to check their thoughts and to be fact detectives, so that they can focus on facts as much as possible when managing their emotions.
I asked students to identify just one point (or more if possible!) that they could take from the presentation to use in their day to day life going forward. My hope is that you could ask your child which point, or points, they have chosen. If they need a prompt the newsletter below is a summary of what I shared.
Our emotions are guided by thoughts and facts we have about events or moments in our lives. Events or moments can be something that has happened, activities we are involved with, comments people have said or actions we take. Whatever the event or moment there are always resulting thoughts and facts about this. It is therefore important to understand the difference between thoughts and facts.
Thoughts are ideas that pop into our mind. Thoughts are not necessarily true and they are not facts. Here are some examples of thoughts I shared in assembly and the resulting emotions students identified.
Thought: I wonder if anyone is listening to me? Am I making sense in this presentation?. Emotions identified: Worried and concerned.
Thought: A student may have a test coming up and feels they will not do well. Emotions identified: Frustrated and annoyed.
Thought: A student did not see their friend at morning tea and wonders if they do not like them anymore.. Emotions identified: Sad and upset.
Whilst not all thoughts are negative, students were able to see the trend that thoughts can often lead to worries. This is where checking our thoughts and using the facts, or Being a Fact Detective, is important.
Facts are things that are known to be true. Here are examples of checking the above thoughts with facts. Again, I shared these in assembly and the resulting emotions were identified by students.
Facts: I can see people looking at me and students are putting up their hands when I ask questions. This tells me that people are listening to me and that I am making sense. Emotions identified: Happy and confident.
Facts: The student cannot change that they have a test but they can listen to their teacher, they can do their homework and prepare well so that they know they are in a good position to do their best. Emotions identified: Confident and proud.
Fact: The student talked to their friend when they saw them next and discovered that their friend had a music lesson at morning tea. They are looking forward to playing with them at lunchtime. Emotions identified: Happy and excited.
Whilst not all facts are positive, students were able to see the trend that facts often lead to less worries as by using the facts they can be more objective and helpful with their thinking.
I finished the presentation by talking with the students about how they can use thought checking and being a Fact Detective in their interactions with friends, staff and family so that the emotions that support their decision making are being guided by facts and evidence. Here are my three final points from the presentation:
Remember, thoughts are not facts.
Remember also that we cannot control the thoughts that come into our head but we can control the thoughts that we pay attention to. The best way to do this is to:
Check our thoughts and be a Fact Detective - look for the facts!
I hope that this provides a useful opportunity to talk about Thoughts, Facts and Emotions with your child at home.
Image sourced from:www.giphy.com
Jenelle Hooson
Jenelle is a Registered Provisional Member with NZAC (New Zealand Association of Counsellors).
If you wish to discuss the services the School Counsellor can provide, please see your son’s homeroom teacher or Scott Johnson: scott.johnson@medbury.school.nz.