Andrew Doubleday, Out-going President MCNZ, reflects on his role as it nears an end.

As one who has suffered a fair amount of ‘Imposter Syndrome’, taking on the role of presidency of the church has been challenging, yet ultimately an illuminating and life-giving experience. For me anyway.

I’m reminded of Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn’s great novel, In The First Circle, where Innokenty Volodin, with whom the story opens and closes and is woven throughout the narrative, finds himself in terror of the prospect of being arrested by the KGB, the State Security Police, and taken into the Lubyanka prison in the centre of Moscow. We see him, throughout the week covered by the novel, looking for signs of his impending arrest. None come. Until right at the end. He is relaxing in a taxi taking him to the airport and ultimately to freedom. He notices it seems to be going in the wrong direction. He tries the window and door handles. All are unresponsive. He then recognises the arch of the entrance to the Lubyanka, and he knows the trap has been sprung and he is caught. Now, here is the interesting part; Volodin finds the treatment more extreme than he imagined. And yet, it comes as a relief. His fear of arrest and what was to follow was worse, and harder to bear, than the reality.

The role of presidency has challenged me in ways that I feared it would, and yet found more manageable than I would have imagined. While I have made my share of mis-steps, overall it has been a positive experience for me.

I’m grateful for the kindness of people around the Connexion – of those who hosted me as I’ve travelled, and of the cultural synods who nursed an uncertain and at times bumbling president through the ceremonial roles expected of him.

The presidency has exposed me to a level of leadership across the denominational spectrum, some of which has been delightful, others, not so much.

One of the highpoints has been touring Northland with Rowan and Margaret Smiley, and being able to visit with every congregation in the Synod. This has pointed me in the direction of ‘what comes next’.

The two Conferences at which I’ve presided were progressively more technologically capable – we’ve moved into a different era. And they went well, a result of the careful planning of General Secretary Tara Tautari and her team, with much technical expertise provided by Michael Lemanu and Vice President ‘Etuini Talakai. The Conference of today is unrecognisable from what it would have been three years ago. And there is no going back. There is a slickness of delivery with a higher level of engagement and participation than ever before.

Covid has provided us with some unique challenges. As a church we value our consensus decision-making processes, yet decisions needed to be made to protect our most vulnerable. As was to be expected, not everyone was happy.

‘Zoom’ has become very much a part of our lives. This has saved a huge amount in travel costs and carbon emissions, and it has been huge in saving time. Although less than perfect it has been a boon, and once again, there is no going back.

Although VP ‘Etuini and I have not acted as a team in the traditional sense, we have each played to our strengths and been available in the areas we have found ourselves. I have both huge affection and respect for the man who early-on described himself as my ‘bodyguard’. ‘Etuini and his wife Vaiolupe are a warm, wise and generous couple.

Having already started referencing individuals, I don’t have space to thank everyone personally, and I run the risk of missing those who I most need to acknowledge. To all of you, you know who you are - please know that your love, support, and prayers have been much appreciated.

I’m moving to a new role with UCANZ at the start of next year. We’ve departed from the title of ‘Executive Officer’ - which implies a primarily administrative function for which I am singularly unsuited - employing the new title ‘Ministry Facilitator’. This points to more of a resourcing function where I hope I can add some value. Given that 90 out of our 130 churches are in Union and Cooperating ventures, you’ll continue to see me around the wider church.

The Peace of Christ be with you all.