The Benefits of Saying Yes and of Saying No

Of late, I have been reflecting at some depth on my propensity to say ‘yes,’ to commit to activities and tasks which require of me an expenditure of energy which I don’t necessarily have, or my ‘yes’ inevitably finds me sliding back towards former pathways and seasons of being that I am consciously seeking to let go of.

A wise friend and mentor encouraged me this week to become as a conscious witness to my replies of yes and no. It is not long before such witnessing leads me to become all too conscious of my propensity to say, ‘yes’ with almost too much ease and experience considerable difficulty in the saying of ‘no’.

As a further critical step of reflection my wise friend suggested I observe if the yes’s and the no’s are originating from the mind, or the heart.

Yesterday, I was invited to do three things. These three events would not have been of my choosing and I wasn’t looking forward to any of them. I consciously shifted the yes from my mind to my heart concerning all three. Surprisingly, but maybe not, unexpected gifts emerged from each of these yes’s.

I have been invited tomorrow to do three things. I have had to say no to two of these events because of prior commitments and appointments. I am fascinated by my conscious awareness of how pleased I was to have an excuse to be able to say “no”.

It is not surprising, unexpected gifts will emerge from having said no and I will likely also miss unexpected gifts from not being able to say yes.

So, as I continue to polish the lenses on my yes’s and no’s, admittedly like Mary’s gospel yes to the Angel Gabriel, when I make and take time to ponder my responses, I’m better able to trust that God’s unexpected gifts can and will emerge from both a yes and a no.

A “heart-fed-no” holds ongoing deepening to my ordinary day-to-day role as sacred. And a “heart-fed- yes” is trusting God’s invitation of inviting me to what (unbeknownst to me) is already within my capacity.