Dear Parents, Caregivers and Whanau,

Three Words for Christian Parents

Here is God’s plan for us when we begin families of our own: that we would raise up children - human beings made in his image - all the way to adulthood, even though we ourselves are far from perfect and in need of forgiveness every day. That we would oversee small, vulnerable, impressionable people 24/7, despite our fairly serious character flaws. That we would provide for them in every way throughout every life stage, even when our own sinful natures are in frequent conflict with theirs. When you think of the enormity of this task that God has set before parents, imperfect and ill-equipped as we are, it’s hard not to wonder, what was he thinking?

For insight into what God is thinking, as Christians we turn to the Bible, and we see there that God is playing the long game. He’s not concerned so much with telling us how to deal with the day-by-day, minute-by-minute challenges of parenting; he’s concerned instead with the much larger goal of raising up people who will love and serve him all their days, in this world and the next. And God’s goals for our children (vs. our goals or the world’s goals) are a key to peace in parenting, whether your children are toddlers, teenagers, or adults.

What does God expect of us as Christian parents? Well, it’s in these three words:

Lay the foundation.

It’s the main thing that he sets before us to accomplish before we release children out of our care. To lay the foundation of a strong faith in Jesus Christ, to show our children what it looks like to be an imperfect person who worships a perfect Savior, and to model forgiveness, obedience and the fruit of the Spirit in front of them, by God’s grace, and his grace alone. To pray with and for them, take them to church every week, and teach them about Jesus Christ.

The importance of laying the foundation can seem simple as the years pass us by, but the Bible makes it abundantly clear:

“And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” (Deuteronomy 6:6-7)

“We will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power, and the wonders he has done…. so, the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children. Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands.” (Psalm 78:4b, 6-7)

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)

“But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, and how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.” (2 Timothy 3:14-15)

The Bible has some other things to say about raising children, but in general, the overall message is to pass down your faith. As the years fly by and your children get older, your influence over them shrinks dramatically (this is by God’s design - it’s nothing personal) but laying the foundation of faith in Christ remains your primary purpose.

Your home will empty itself of children sooner than you could ever imagine. When the nest is empty, or nearly so, it’s good to be able to say, ‘We weren’t perfect parents. We may wish we could go back and do some things differently. But here’s what we did do: we laid the foundation. That was the primary role that God gave us to do. We did it to the best of our ability and we made some mistakes, but our children’s lives are in God’s hands. More than ever, our job now is to simply pray.’

Character – Excellence – Service: For the Glory of God

Can I encourage you to read this brief article from Paul Tripp and then please pass it onto your teenage children to read or share it with them in some way.

7 Questions That Teens Need to Answer

Be Alert

You are a teenager: that means you are in one of the most exciting and most important times of your life! I want to alert you to seven questions you will face that will influence the shape and direction of the rest of your life.

1. What will be the meaning and purpose of your life?

So far, your values - the things you think are worth living for - have largely been shaped by your parents. You begin to make that critical decision for yourself during your teen years. What will be the thing that will capture your heart and shape the direction of your life?

2. Will you internalize the faith you have been taught?

There is probably no more significant decision in life than this one. Everyone believes something. Every home has religious convictions, whether they consider themselves religious or not. Every Christian home seeks to instil their “faith” in their children. In the teen years, you will decide what you will believe about God, about yourself, about right and wrong, about what is true and what is false, about the gospel of Jesus Christ, and about how you will live out your beliefs in everyday life.

3. What significant decisions will shape your future?

Wow, there are huge decisions ahead of you! What are your gifts, interests, and passions? What do you see as your life’s work? Where will you go to university? Will the church be an essential part of your life? If you could have your dream future, what would it be?

4. What will you do as you begin stepping outside of daily parental protection?

During the younger years of your life, your parents made all of your decisions for you. During the teen years, you begin to make more and more of those decisions for yourself. I don’t mean that you no longer need parents. However, you are moving into a stage where rather than exercising total control over your life, your parents will offer you wise counsel, while you will bear more and more of the burden of making the decisions that will shape how you live.

5. What kind of community will you surround yourself with?

This is a big one. Until now, your mum, dad, grandparent/s, or caregivers have chosen the community they felt comfortable having you in. They were the gatekeepers, vetting the friends that came into your life. But now, you will increasingly have the responsibility. Who will you allow into your life? Whose advice and counsel will you listen to? Who will you entrust with the important things in your life? Who will you allow to influence the way you think and the way that you live? You will surround yourself with others, and those people will significantly impact who you become.

What will be the thing that will capture your heart and shape the direction of your life?

6. How seriously will you pursue your relationship with God?

Most teens were first exposed to God, his will, and his way in their homes and by their parents. My mum and dad thought a relationship with God was the most important thing for me, but I had to decide that for myself at some point (which I did during my teen years). No one can make you love God. No one can make you willing to surrender your heart and life to him. No one has the power to produce faith in you. Will you make God the centre of your life? Will you pursue him every day?

7. What kind of success will you value most?

Every human being runs after some type of success. Everybody defines what a successful life is. Will you live for material success? Will you live for career success? Will you define success in money terms? Will success be determined by how many people love and respect you? Will success be defined as living a life pleasing to your Creator? You will define success somehow, and how you define it will determine how you live.

Since you will be asked to grapple with life-shaping issues in your teen years, you will need reliable, true, and trustworthy guidance. What will be your life GPS? Whose plan for life will you follow? I love what the Bible says in Psalm 119:105, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” God gave you his word to be a guide to you. As you walk through the forest of life, often dark with roots that will trip you up, the Bible has been given to you to light the way so you can be sure of where to go and how to get there. The central theme of the word of God is the story of the transforming grace that is ours because of the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus.

Be reminded of the truths of God’s word day after day. May it cause you to admit how much you need the forgiving, reconciling, and transforming grace of Jesus. And may it give you wisdom from God’s word to live by. There is no better way to prepare for all the significant issues that will shape your future than to spend time every day meditating on God’s truth, remembering his grace, and recommitting yourself to a life shaped by following him.