We are proud to support Pink Shirt Day on 17 May!

Bullying is something that can affect all of us, children and adults, at any time in our lives. We are holding a Pink Shirt Day on Friday 17 May, with children invited to bring a gold coin donation, to support the work of the Mental Health Foundation of New Zealand. 

So, what is bullying?

Bullying Factsheet

It’s a very good time for us as parents and teachers, to be talking to the children about their behaviour.

Whether bullying is physical, verbal, or social (relational), four widely-accepted factors can be used to identify it:

Bullying is deliberate - harming another person intentionally.

Bullying involves a misuse of power in a relationship.

Bullying is usually not a one-off - it is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated over time.

Bullying involves behaviour that can cause harm - it is not a normal part of growing up.

Bullying can happen anywhere, in person or online (cyberbullying), at any time, and can be verbal, physical, or social (relational). It can be obvious or hidden.

Kids who bully use their power — such as physical strength, knowing something embarrassing, or popularity — to control or harm others. Bullying is when one student (or a group of students) keeps picking on another student again and again to make them feel bad. They say or do things to upset them, make fun of them, stop them from joining in, or keep hitting or punching them.

Bullying can involve manipulation to control friendships etc, even if a 'sorry' is said afterwards, the impact on the victim is not lessened. It's important for children to know that although someone may say sorry, it does not absolve the bullying behaviour. And saying sorry is completely ineffective if the behaviour carries on again and again.

Please speak to your children about their own behaviour or circumstances. Can teasing or an argument one lunchtime be left behind? Does the size of the reaction fit the size of the action? Some things can be unkind, mean or annoying, and still not be bullying. Others, when they carry on and involve someone in a more powerful position (or older age) than someone else, can be considered bullying. What strategies (including telling a trusted adult at home or school) could your child try to use? If your child uses hitting or kicking or any other physical behaviour on others, what is your response? Do you deal with that behaviour? It's essential to deal with it now.

What to do if you are being bullied (for children and parents)