Grief is the normal human process we go through after loss to help us adjust to the reality of what's happened. Just being there for your rangatahi can make a difference. You can’t take their grief away, but you can walk alongside them on the journey. You can’t ‘fix it’, but you can help ease the way - good listening is invaluable.

To Do:

● Listen and try not to judge. Let rangatahi talk about their loss without interruption.

● Death can cause anxiety about safety. It’s important to reassure your rangatahi that they are safe, and that while death is a part of life, they are loved and cared for.

● Rangatahi often look to parents for how to behave. Show them healthy ways to express emotions, whether through talking, writing, drawing, or other forms of expression.

● Everyone grieves differently, and some may take longer to process their emotions. Give them space and time to cope, but also there can be comfort in routines. As much as possible, try to keep their daily schedules consistent to provide a sense of normalcy during a difficult time.

● Encourage your rangatahi to talk to other trusted adults, such as a teacher or

counsellor, especially if they are struggling.

● Keep an eye on how your rangatahi is coping with the news. check in with them periodically to see how they’re doing. Changes in behaviour, sleep, or eating patterns can be signs that they are struggling. If you notice these, please contact the guidance team or your GP.

● Grief doesn’t have a clear timeline, and your rangatahi might revisit their feelings later, even after some time has passed. Continue to offer emotional support as they process and grieve. Ultimately, the key is creating an open, safe space for your rangatahi to express their feelings while offering guidance, reassurance, and emotional support. It's a process, and each child will navigate it in their own way.

Not To Do:

● Avoid the grief and expect the person to just get on with it.

● Tell the person not to think about it.

● Urge the person to think of others’ who are worse off.

● Use euphemisms (eg. time will heal, it will be alright).

● Minimise the loss.

● Put pressure on the person to be coping differently.

Resources:

WHERE TO GET HELP AFTER SCHOOL HOURS

If it is an emergency and you, or someone you know, is at immediate risk call 111 - select police - if physical injury has occurred - select Ambulance

Crisis mental health care, Freephone 0800 920 092, (24 hours, 7 days a week)

Child, Adolescent & Family (CAF) Mental Health Service Freephone: 0800 467 846/press 2 for Otago regions

Primary Mental Health Brief Intervention Service (BIS) All enquiries: 0800 477 1155 Offices in Wānaka, Alexandra, Cromwell, Queenstown

Oranga Tamariki (for reporting care and protection issues) 0508 326 459

Lifeline – 0800 543 354

Asian Helpline – 0800 862 342

Suicide Crisis Helpline 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)

Youthline – 0800 376 633 or free text 234

Depression Helpline – 0800 111 757 or free text 4202

Samaritans – 0800 726 666

Rainbow Youth: https://ry.org.nz/online-support

Need to talk? Free call or text 1737 support from trained counsellor

What's Up – 0800 942 8787 (5–18 year olds). Phone counselling Monday to Friday,

midday–11pm and weekends, 3pm–11pm.

Kidsline – 0800 54 37 54 for young people up to 18 years of age. Open 24/7.

thelowdown.co.nz – or emailteam@thelowdown.co.nz or free text 5626

Anxiety New Zealand - 0800 269 4389

Wellsouth Wellbeing (local mental health service available to all patients enrolled with a GP at either Aspiring Medical or Wānaka Medical Centres - phone - make an appointment by contacting your general practice).

More information for Wānaka @: https://www.communitylink.nz/counselling