In 2019 I was a Junior Dux. Following this came expectations. Expectations from teachers and peers, but mainly myself.
I came to Otago Boys’ in 2018 from Fairfield School. I think I had always wanted to do well in everything I did, but high school certainly heightened that expectation I had of myself.
After Year 9, I worked hard throughout Year 10. With help from my teachers, I believe I received one of the most important schooling years in my education career, and achieved the honour of Junior Dux. As I said I am greatly honoured to have achieved this, but as the saying goes “with great power comes great responsibility”, or in this case as I believe, the greater you achieve the greater the expectation is placed upon you. This is normal and a perfectly reasonable consequence which is applied to all areas of life, academic, sporting, and cultural. However, expectations can carry a lot of weight.
NCEA level 1 went well, but as everyone will tell you boys, the step from level 1 to 2 is very large. This year when I got my level 2 external results back I was disappointed. I had been holding myself to an expectation from Year 10 and 11 and felt like others were as well. I hadn't met it at all.
It was during this time in the holidays that I learnt an important life lesson. Hard work will always pay off. It might not get what you desire every time, it might not 100% achieve that goal. But I can guarantee, and have experienced, that it will benefit you and will pay off in other ways no matter what. So if you don’t meet your own expectations, try not to stress, and be satisfied with the knowledge you did your best.
I believe that although teachers and peers will have high expectations, as they should for an OBs boy, it will be you who holds yourself to the highest expectation. I put the most pressure on myself to do well.
I chose to talk about this with you boys today, not to gain pity or sympathy but to share my experience. An experience with expectations which is not unique to me or school. You will all encounter many expectations in life, and sometimes will feel that the pressure of trying to meet them is too much. This can lead to serious anxiety and stress, which I have felt myself many times. My advice is to hold yourself to a high personal standard and not to worry about what others want, because you will expect more of yourself than they ever will. Coming to terms with yourself about whether you have lived up to your expectations is one of the hardest challenges of all.
A quote from a poem -
“your final reward will be heartache and tears
if you’ve cheated the man in the glass” - Dale Wimbrow
Sometimes it's hard to know when you haven't, be kind to yourself boys.