Andy to his unnamed wife

Restrained by high brick walls,
barbed wire and the guard’s baton.
It is only now that I am filled with purpose;
purpose makes a free man.
Despair has strengthened the bars that confined me.
I can’t help but wonder, was the bullet
that left your blood lining the room,
a blessing that set me free?
Does that make me guilty?
Irony. The place that confines me
gives me more comfort than I ever felt in your arms.
Now that I am surrounded by shadows
I finally see the light.
My lover’s lover.
What did he have that I did not?
I gave you my heart; was that not enough?
It was perfect at the start.
To the end of the world, I loved you
A lie.
Addiction, the need, you drove me savage, wasting away.
Never did I think I would come crashing down.
We were flying so high.
Never would I think I would have kept falling.
Love; a drug, you were mine.

I wish it was anger that I had felt.
Thunder from the storm in my head,
I couldn’t hear my thoughts.
An earthquake in my heart, I shook.
I shook like an addict without his daily fix.
Look, what you did to me.
Bourbon burned away my pain but nothing would hide my tears.
The fear of losing you;
the reason I ended up in this heartless cavern.
Scared to be lonely.

You had me trapped in a prison of addiction.
Affliction, did I make you suffer?
Your pain, a quiet voice in a roaring blizzard.
Attention; is that what you wanted? I’m sorry.
Trapped in an illusion that everything was okay.
It wasn’t. I’m sorry.
My eyes still blurred. What did I do wrong?

Free of your prison, Purpose was my key.
No longer poisoned by your sins.
Sat in a living hell, innocent demons, my friends.
You must be an angel
Still, unanswered questions are salt in my wounds.

The wife’s reply

All I wanted to do was dance.
Trapped in each other’s prisons
But, I broke free
It tore my world in two doing this to you.
The deception the lies, it hurt but, I was drowning,
Suffocating in your wake.
Too focused on your ambition,
you forgot about me.

He, a flame, that would never burn out.
You, a wilting flower; blackened by time.
I needed warmth in this cold world.
You were frozen.

Why did you kill me?
Unnurtured, I died.
Love starved.
You turned me into a sinner.
A fake smile.
Why couldn’t you look underneath?
You didn’t pull the trigger,
but, you aimed the gun.