Ambition Denied

I was nervously waiting as the votes were getting carefully counted up. The room was flooded with noise but I was completely zoned out. I was praying that I had done enough. Made a good name for myself and that my hometown of Dunedin would have my back and vote for me. So that I would have a chance to be at the top of the top, the best of the best and the most powerful person in all of New Zealand. All of my hard work and dedication had come down to this very day. There were millions of people from all over New Zealand watching to see who their new Prime Minister would be. I knew it was my time. I had earned it.

I had spent countless hours and way too much money on flyers and putting them into people's letterboxes, to not win their vote. I had tried my hardest to put my name out there. I had even been a judge at a horse-riding competition, just so that people would remember my name and I don't even know anything about horse riding! I had been kicked by a horse once, but that is as close as I have been! I also attended the ‘No Farms No Food’ protest. It felt like I had been from one end of the country to the other. By going the extra mile I hoped that there was a better chance of me winning the election.

I had worked my way up the rankings to get to this point. I hoped that New Zealand would see my commitment and dedication. New Zealand needed me. I had so many ideas I wanted to achieve if I became Prime Minister.

Things like getting rid of the diesel tax (road user charges) and reducing the price of petrol and diesel because it was ripping off everyone in New Zealand. The worst thing was that we didn't know what all the taxes were going towards? It seemed that NZ citizens were just paying expensive tariffs without getting told what their hard-earned money was going towards. Fuel taxes were limiting people who were not the wealthiest from being able to get to their jobs, take their kids to school or even drive around and explore our beautiful country of Aotearoa. It just isn’t fair. And that is just one of the many ideas I have. The list goes on….

You would not believe what happened next. John Key got up and said, “Let's get started shall we?”. I remember the room went dead silent. He continued by saying, “So this year to vote for your new Prime Minister we are going to do things a little bit different. We are going to do a straight vote on good old Kahoot.”

I could see that everyone's jaws had dropped in shock. People started speaking over each other shouting about how it was not fair and shouldn't be allowed. But secretly I was very pleased. I believed I had put a good name out for myself all around New Zealand. I was sure people would vote for me.

The projector beamed onto the whiteboard showing the millions of people attending the Kahoot around New Zealand. John Key finally said it was starting and then up popped the big question. “Who should be the 2024 Prime Minister of New Zealand?”

And there was my name in black and white, Matthew Sebelin, alongside Charlie Pullar and several other candidates. I remember seeing the names of New Zealanders joining the Kahoot flooding the TV screen like water from an overflowing bath. Each name representing one vote.

As weird and funny as John Key’s idea of a Kahoot was, I was still at that point feeling quietly confident. With the amount of effort I had put into the bloody campaign, I felt I deserved it.

Finally, the results came in and Charlie Pullar won by 200 votes. I felt sick to my stomach because our new Prime Minister was an eco-friendly vegan who only cared about himself.

This was going to be the most dreadful four years of my life.