From the Deputy Rector

Over the first few weeks of the year much of our communication with our young men has focused on what we believe are the keys to success both at PNBHS and in life in general. Many of these messages will be familiar to our young men and will become mantras they will hear frequently throughout their time with us. Hopefully, these messages will be absorbed into their daily lives both during their time at school and beyond. We hope that the messages we are giving to young men here at school will be supported and reinforced at home.

Get fully involved in school life

We have always encouraged young men to get involved in our co-curricular programme. Being active is important for both our physical and mental health. Through being part of a team or group we meet new people, develop our relational skills, learn to win with humility and lose with dignity, and develop key time management and organisational skills. Young men who are involved in co-curricular activities are more engaged in school life and therefore likely have a greater sense of belonging, a characteristic fundamental to good mental health. They also, on average, attend school more regularly and achieve at higher levels in their academic studies than their peers who are not involved in co-curricular activities. You can read more about this further on in this newsletter and see some of the data supporting this conclusion.

Attitude is everything - Do your best

It is unrealistic to expect to be 'good' at everything across a diverse range of subjects and co-curricular activities. However, if we have a positive attitude and genuinely and consistently give our best effort, accept and respond positively to feedback and learn as we go, we will improve - regardless of our starting point. We have complete control over our attitude and level of effort. And, when we have given our best effort, we can be genuinely proud, regardless of the outcome.

Generations of young men have learned our school motto Nihil Boni Sine Labore - Nothing Achieved Without Hard Work, words that are as apt today as they were when the school was established in 1902.

Turn up

Attend school regularly. Honour your commitments to co-curricular teams and groups. Be on time. Have the right equipment. Be organised. Be reliable.

Surround yourself with people who want the best for you

More than 2,000 years ago the Stoic philosophers of Ancient Greece wrote about the importance of surrounding oneself with the right people. Writing in 'A guide to the good life : the ancient art of Stoic joy' William Irvine advises that we should "avoid befriending people whose values have been corrupted, for fear that their values will contaminate ours. We should instead seek, as friends, people who share our values and in particular, people who are doing a better job of living in accordance with these values. And while enjoying the companionship of these individuals, we should work hard to learn what we can from them."

As young people go through adolescence the influence of their peers grows. If your son can surround himself with people who share his values and have his best interests at heart this will be a positive influence.

You can't change the people around you, but you can change the people around you. In other words, we can't force others to change, but we can choose to surround ourselves with more supportive people who will have a positive influence on us. American entrepreneur, author, and motivational speaker Jim Rohn famously said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." While there is some conjecture about the basis for this statement, we all know that the people around us do have an influence - some make a lasting impact, some teach us a lesson, and some help us grow, evolve, and become better versions of ourselves. Who is your son choosing to surround himself with?

Live our school values every day

The values we live by, the things that are important to us, vary from person to person and are influenced by ourw hānau, our beliefs, our experiences and our cultural background. However, while there is some variation in the values that people hold dear, there are some that are universal i.e. they are widely recognised across diverse groups in society. We believe that our school values fall into this category and spend much time working to instil an understanding of these values into our young men.

Tū Māia | Courage - While we often associate courage with extreme acts of bravery it is the day-to-day choices we make to try new things and push ourselves outside of our comfort zone that make a significant difference. In the words of former American First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt “Do one thing every day that scares you.”

Ngākau Mahaki | Humility - Our young men are growing up in an increasingly narcissistic world. Social media encourages the curation of a 'perfect life' for the reward of likes and comments. Unfortunately, social media encourages and rewards a focus on oneself at the expense of the wider good. We also see a lack of humility in the extreme celebrations from some sportspeople and teams when they are victorious. Understanding that 'it's not all about us' is an important lesson. American author Rick Warren aptly sums this up saying "Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less" - a great message for us all.

Te mahi tahi | Industry - Hard work is a quality to be admired. In any worthwhile endeavour, the amount of effort that we make will determine the outcome. Whakanuia te tangata ringa raupā  ǀ  Respect a person with calloused hands.

Tū Rangatira | Integrity - We generally know what 'the right thing' is in any set of circumstances. Sometimes we need courage to do the right thing. Other times it is easy to do the right thing because we know we are being watched. True integrity, in the words of C. S. Lewis, is "doing the right thing, even when no one is watching." In other words, doing the right thing simply because it is the right thing to do, not because we are being monitored or there is a reward or potential punishment for us.

Tū Whakahī | Pride - While derided as one of the 'Seven Deadly Sins' pride, in appropriate quantities and derived from genuine effort, pride is essential if we are to strive to achieve our potential. When our achievements are hard won authentic pride is the emotional response. However, if we are to take credit for the work of others or excessively celebrate success that comes easily, any pride is inauthentic and demonstrates a lack of humility.

Tū Whakaaute | Respect - The golden rule, the idea of treating others as one would want to be treated by them, is much-reputed for being the most culturally universal ethical tenet in human history. It is also a foundation of the value of respect. Respect is about recognising the humanity innate in each of us and showing appropriate regard for the thoughts, feelings, wishes and rights of others - the behaviours that we would like to have displayed towards us. And this begins with the simplest of things, using our manners and being considerate in our interactions with others. The little things do indeed make a significant impact. "We may not be able to stop evil in the world, but how we treat one another is entirely up to us." — Barack Obama

Our aim is for our school vision Hai Whakapakari i Ngā Tamatāne Kia Purapura Tuawhiti  |  To Develop Educated Men of Outstanding Character to be much more than just words. We hope that our school values, alongside the values young men learn in the other areas of their lives, will provide the necessary direction for them to thrive in all aspects of their lives both at school and beyond.

Yes, we want our young men - your sons - to achieve the academic qualifications that will help them transition onto their pathway beyond school. However, true success is about much more than just grades.