From the Deputy Rector

Tū Whakahī ǀ Pride

There are many different components to an answer to the question posed above, but Tū Whakahī, or Pride, is integral to our motivation, perseverance and determination. After all, if we are not to be proud of ourselves, our progress and our achievements, why make the effort?

Tū Whakahī ǀ Pride is a powerful emotion that can drive us to achieve great things and overcome significant challenges. It is the feeling of satisfaction and self-respect that comes from accomplishing something meaningful. While 'too much' pride, or pride displayed in the wrong way, is a negative trait, it is important to recognise the important role Tū WhakahīǀPride plays in shaping our lives and the world around us.

Having Tū Whakahī ǀ Pride is essential for building self-esteem and confidence. When we take pride in our accomplishments, we develop a sense of self-worth and confidence in our abilities. This confidence, in turn, can motivate us to take on new challenges and pursue our dreams. For example, when a student takes pride in their academic achievements, they are more likely to be motivated to continue studying and striving for excellence. Similarly, when an athlete takes pride in their training and performance, they are more likely to push themselves to improve and reach new heights.

Having Tū Whakahī ǀ Pride can inspire others and serve as a positive example for those around us. When we take pride in our accomplishments, we demonstrate that hard work and dedication can lead to success. This can be especially powerful for young men who may be struggling to find their way in life. By showing them the value of pride and hard work, we can help them to develop a sense of purpose and direction. Pride can be a powerful motivator for social change. When we take pride in our cultural identity and heritage, we can work to preserve and celebrate it. This can help to create a more inclusive and diverse society that values and respects different cultures and traditions. 

In assemblies and newsletters in recent years we have frequently referenced Stoic philosophy (with a capital S, not to be mistaken with being stoic with a lowercase s). From a Stoic perspective, pride is generally seen as a negative emotion that arises from a false sense of superiority or an excessive attachment to one's own accomplishments or possessions. The Stoics believed that such attachments are ultimately harmful and can lead to anxiety, arrogance, and other negative emotions.

However, the Stoics did recognise that there can be a positive aspect to pride, as long as it is rooted in virtuous behavior (that aligned with our values) and the pursuit of moral excellence. Specifically, they believed that a sense of pride can arise from living in accordance with one's values and principles, and from endeavouring to fulfill one's duties and responsibilities to oneself and to others.  In other words, a sense of healthy pride comes when we strive to be the best version of ourselves, surely a worthwhile pursuit. 

In this sense, the Stoics saw pride as a natural consequence of living a virtuous life, rather than as a goal in and of itself. They believed that a truly virtuous person should be humble and free from excessive attachment to external things, including one's own accomplishments or reputation. Instead, the focus should be on living a good life and doing what is right, regardless of external rewards or recognition.

Having pride can be a source of personal satisfaction and fulfillment. When we take pride in our achievements, we feel a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment that can be difficult to find elsewhere. This sense of fulfillment can help to improve our overall well-being and quality of life.  Writing in 'Pride: The Secret of Success' Professor of Psychology Jessica Tracy highlights the positive influence that comes from developing an appropriate sense of Tū Whakahī | Pride. She stipulates that "pride is one of the most important motivational forces propelling human achievement, creation and innovation." Furthermore:

"Pride makes us care about how others see us and - just as important - how we see ourselves. It makes us want to feel good about ourselves...it prods us to figure out who we want to be and then to do whatever is needed to become that person. The desire to feel pride can consequently push us to work hard and strive for excellence."

The Merriam-Webster's Dictionary provides two very different meanings of pride: (i) inordinate self-esteem/conceit, and (ii) reasonable or justifiable self-respect. The difference between the two is strikingly obvious - one a character trait to be avoided, the other to be embraced.

Having a healthy sense of pride in himself, his whānau and his school, alongside other aspects of his life that are important to him, is an important value for your son to develop. However, an excess of Tū Whakahī | Pride, which manifests as arrogance, overconfidence and feelings of superiority, is a vice and this is what leads to Pride's place as one of the 'seven deadly sins'.

Professor Tracy also notes the impact that authentic pride - that which reflects progress and achievements one has had to genuinely strive for - can have on our resilience. It is inevitable that we will face challenges at different times and it is also inevitable that we will at times fail in whatever we set out to accomplish. People with authentic pride can put these challenges and failures into perspective: "They acknowledge them but treat them as temporary setbacks and are soon ready to tackle new goals." Furthermore, she notes that "authentic pride is the emotional response to successes that are hard-won." When our achievements come too easily or are based on luck rather than hard work, our sense of pride is quite different to those occasions when we have really had to work to achieve what we have.

What are your son's values and the values of your whānau?  Are the decisions your son is making and his behaviour and actions aligned with these values?  Is the work that your son submits for assessments work that he is proud of? Is the effort that he is making with his academic studies one that he is proud of? These might be questions to stimulate some discussion at home.

In answering the question 'How do you take pride in yourself and your work?', well-known American Basketball coach John Wooden, a strong advocate of selflessness and putting others ahead of yourself, advised his players is to change their definition of success: "Success is peace of mind, which is the direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to become the best that you are capable of becoming." Dedicating ourselves to becoming the best version of ourselves that we can is hard work, but it is work we can be justifiably proud of.

Healthy pride, that which is generated by our striving to attain worthwhile goals and to be a good person, is a good thing that can benefit us in numerous ways. It can help us to build self-esteem and confidence, inspire others, create positive change, and provide personal fulfillment. 

Community Service

Tangata ako ana I te kāenga, te tūranga ki te marae, tau ana ǀ A person nurtured in the community contributes strongly to society – Māori whakatauki

Being involved in one's community builds belonging. Having a strong sense of belonging to all of the groups we are part of in our community - to our whānau, school, sports teams and cultural groups, and the wider community - is one of the fundamental tenets of positive wellbeing. Volunteering, or being involved in community and service activities, helps us to develop this sense of belonging. And, doing something for others is something that we can be justifiably proud of.

During term one our young men have supported the appeal for the regions of New Zealand devastated by Cyclone Gabrielle, have fundraised for the Cancer Society, including the very successful Relay for Life, have donated blood in support of the New Zealand Blood Service and are gearing up to support the RSA in the annual Poppy Day appeal during the upcoming school holidays. It is fantastic to see the wide support for each of these causes across the student body and the number of young men who willingly give their time to be actively involved.

Ole ala ile pule, o le tautua ǀ The road to leadership is through service – Samoan proverb