From the Deputy Rector
What Do We Want For Our Children?
When parents of young people of all ages are asked what they want for them a common - and completely understandable - refrain is that they want them to be happy. However, as we contemplate this idea it becomes a little more complex than we might initially think.
Modern philosophers have three broad approaches to answering the question "what is happiness?" The first is that happiness is the opposite of depression. If we are happy we are experiencing a positive 'upbeat' attitude. The second is hedonism, a school of thought that argues people actively seek out pleasure and do all they can to avoid pain. To judge a happy life one would consider the total proportion of our lives we spend enjoying ourselves.
While these definitions sound appealing, they do not reflect the reality of our day-to-day lives. Do we really want our children to experience pleasure at all times? Struggle, failure and disappointment are things we all experience from time to time. Struggling with something, be it an assessment, a relationship, conflict at school or work, or failing in any of these areas is not enjoyable; it does not make us happy. However, we learn much from these experiences, perhaps much more than we do when we succeed in something without having to overcome obstacles and without having to make a genuine effort.
If we accept that struggle and failure are important parts of our lives and that we learn from these experiences, then perhaps we need a more nuanced understanding of what ultimately makes us, and our children, happy.
The third approach to happiness is one that is built on the philosophy espoused by Aristotle more than 2,300 years ago. He proposed that happiness came from a sense of fulfilment and satisfaction about our conduct, our interactions and our relationships. An element of activity - doing things that challenge us and we enjoy - and having direction and goals in our lives also leads to happiness.
Edith Hall, Professor of Classics at King's College in London, noted that "Aristotle believed that if you train yourself to be good, by working on your virtues and controlling your vices, you will discover that a happy state of mind comes from habitually doing the right thing." Philosopher Will Durant summed this up succinctly (in a well-known quote that is frequently misattributed to Aristotle):
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” - Will Durant in 'the Story of Philosophy'
Two important points are evident. The first is that who we are and who we are becoming - our character - is malleable. The second is that we can influence 'who' we become and also the character of those around us. Encouraging and rewarding virtuous actions - the good decisions our young men make at home, school and in the community - shapes their character.
Whakawhānaungatanga, the Māori concept of developing purposeful connections and relationships of interdependence, encapsulates and builds on this idea. The people we choose to surround ourselves with do influence our personality and behaviour - our character. Therefore, we should choose carefully. And, we should encourage the young people in our lives to likewise choose carefully.
Community and relationships are other concepts stressed in Aristotle's theories about happiness. He believed that we flourish when we live peacefully in association with others and engage in reciprocal good deeds. Aristotle suggested the placing of shrines in public places as a reminder to people to "return a kindness; for that is a special characteristic of grace, since it is a duty not only to repay a service done to you, but at another time to take the initiative in doing a service yourself."
We encourage our young men to provide service to their community. In doing so they strengthen their links to their community, whether it be people they know who are the direct beneficiaries of their service, or whether it be an altruistic act for the benefit of a stranger. Such acts build our character as individuals and help to build the positive communities and societies we want our children to grow up in. Consequently, it is always gratifying to see the large number of young men who do support the service activities organised through school such as the Foodbank collection, Poppy Day collection, assisting the Red Cross Book Sale, Daffodil Day, Fred Hollows Day, Blood Donor Day and Fortress 40.
Community and relationships are important aspects of Māori society. Kotahitanga is the concept of togetherness - developing relationships, forming community, working together. Manakitanga means to extend aroha (love and compassion) to others. It is found in acts such as helping a loved one, encouraging one another or even supporting a complete stranger.
Manaakitanga is one of the most important concepts to Māori people as it secures the strength of whānau (families) and communities. Developing kotahitanga and manaakitanga will strengthen the character of individuals and society as a whole.
Jamil Zaki, an associate professor of psychology at Stanford University and author of The War for Kindness: Building Empathy in a Fractured World is another to recognise the importance of our relationships:
"Remember that the people around you are part of your environment. Like the air you breathe and the food you eat, their opinions, attitudes, and actions work their way into you—so try to keep the healthiest company you can. Second, you should remember that you are someone else’s environment, and might have more power to affect them than you realise."
Hall posits that, according to Aristotle, "the ultimate goal of human life is, simply, happiness, which means finding a purpose in order to realise your potential and working on your behaviour to become the best version of yourself." This definition of happiness sounds like one that will benefit our children and ourselves regardless of the circumstances that we find ourselves in and one that is much more applicable to the reality of life's 'ups and downs'.
Many of Aristotle's sentiments are shared by Eric Barker, author of the New York Times bestseller 'Barking Up the Wrong Tree: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Success is (Mostly) Wrong' In this article Barker shares his ideas about what gives our lives meaning: 'The Fun Way to a Meaningful Life'.
NCEA External Examinations
While we still have one term remaining in the school year, the end is indeed nigh for young men studying NCEA subjects. External examinations begin on Tuesday, 5 November, week four or term four. With our Senior Prizegiving taking place on Wednesday, 30 October, senior students will only have 13 school days in term four. Time is of the essence. It is essential that all young men are maximising the opportunities for learning that remain this year. Regular attendance at school will be essential as will a planned and determined effort with revision. NCEA examinations are rapidly approaching.
Unfortunately, for many young men, there is a tendency to leave preparation for these until the last possible moment. Consequently, they will not be suitably prepared to achieve the assessment results they are capable of. Therefore it is vital that your son begins his preparation as soon as possible.
An essential starting point for senior students will be a review of performances in the end-of-year school examinations to identify topics and achievement standards they performed well in and topics and standards that require greater attention.
To assist you in supporting your son in this process NZQA has collated a range of resources.
Practice at previous year's examination papers and reference to the examiner's reports are important components of any revision programme. You can support your son by working with him as he checks the website and downloads and prints the relevant materials.
Junior Examinations
Junior examinations take place from Monday, November 4 to Friday, November 8. These examinations provide an opportunity for young men to develop revision skills as well as helping to build their knowledge and skills base, so are essential in their preparation for NCEA assessments in the senior school. These examinations also assist us in ensuring young men are placed into the appropriate class in Year 10 and the appropriate courses at NCEA Level One, so are important for a range of reasons. Consequently, I would encourage you to spend time with your son over the holidays to ensure that his classwork is up-to-date and that he has a revision programme in place so that he is able to make the best use of the time available in term four prior to the examinations. The habits he develops now will help lay a solid foundation for his achievement in future years.