As you read this the school year has finished and young men are beginning their summer holiday break, or for those who are leaving, are beginning on their pathway beyond school.

In recent weeks parents of young men at all year levels will have either received or are about to receive their son's end-of-year report with a summary of their effort, attitude and achievements throughout 2023. To get the maximum benefit from these documents both parents and young men must see them as a starting point rather than an end point. Yes, they do provide a summary of your son's effort, attitude, behaviour and achievement for the year. But this needs to be seen as the genesis of conversations about the future rather than just a measure of 2023.

Writing in 'Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides' Geoffrey L. Cohen offers the following advice applicable to discussions between young men and parents about school reports:

Talk with teens, not at them. Involve them in discussions about what went well in 2023 and what they might have to work on in 2024.
Encourage teens to see themselves as 'works in progress' rather than 'finished products.' Their reports indicate where they are at a fixed point in time. They can positively change this in the future.
Research has persuasively demonstrated the powerful and positive impact of team sports and other co-curricular activities for all young people. What has your son been involved with this year and what opportunities are there for him to be involved next year?
Praise is most effective when it is related to potential rather than current performance.
When having these discussions with your son emphasise that you are doing it because you have high expectations of him and believe strongly that he can lift himself to meet those high expectations.

Cohen highlights research that shows "while receiving motivational advice about how to do better in school has little effect, giving advice works wonders," explaining that students who give advice achieve better grades. An option is to have your son provide advice to his future self. Have him write down the advice that he would give himself at the beginning of the 2024 school year and put it aside until that time so that he can read it as the new school year begins.

Writing in 'The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives' Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson explain that "Every success coach or productivity guru will tell you that if a child can visualise himself accomplishing a goal he has chosen for himself, it tricks the brain into thinking he's done it. The same is true of writing goals down - it's powerful reinforcement, and if that goal is in your child's handwriting it's a great reminder that it's his goal, not yours."

Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson provide a strategy for responding to disappointing reports or assessment grades:

If you believe in education and hard work, and want your children to as well, we don't recommend scolding them each time they come home with a subpar grade. Though you may think it's the best way to communicate values, it's actually counterproductive because it signals conditional love. Chances are that they are already irked by the grade, so offer a sympathetic "I know this is upsetting to you. I know you worked hard on that. I'd be happy to talk through things to help you for next time, if you want." Note that this response is sympathetic (relatedness). You're also reminding your child that there are ways to get a better outcome next time (competence). And by ending it with "if you want," they see they are in control (autonomy).

Character Is Action. You Are What You Do.

Writing in 'Atomic Habits: Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results' international bestselling author James Clear extols the role of habits in behaviour change. The habits we have - whether they be positive or negative - determine our behaviour, The young man who is disorganised and doesn't regularly have the necessary equipment has developed habits that put him at a disadvantage, Conversely, the young man who is organised and regularly has the right classroom equipment has developed positive habits that give him every chance of success.

James Clear - Atomic Habits — Image by: James Clear

What habits are reflected in the comments on your son's report? Are they positive habits to be reinforced and celebrated or are they negative and self-destructive habits that put your son at a disadvantage in his schooling? These might be some further questions for discussion and contemplation.

Clear notes that "Ultimately, your habits matter because they help you become the type of person you wish to be. They are the channel through which you develop your deepest beliefs about yourself. Quite literally, you become your habits." Developing positive habits is crucial. He further notes that "You have the power to change your beliefs about yourself. Your identity is not set in stone. You have a choice in every moment. You can choose the identity that you want to reinforce today with the habits you choose today."

It was a real privilege to be present at both the Barrowclough Programme presentations and the Junior Prizegiving to see the diligence and determination of so many young men rewarded. We frequently give messages about the importance of having the right attitude and work ethic, and in any part of life, those with a positive approach, who use their initiative, are reliable, trustworthy, hard-working and resilient, will be successful.

Attendance

During the year we have had a focus on lifting student attendance rates. This has been successful and our attendance rates are now very similar to what they were in 2019 prior to Covid-19. However, there is still room for improvement for many young men. Research globally and from New Zealand has established a clear link between school attendance and academic achievement - students who attend school regularly have higher levels of achievement than those who do not attend as frequently.

This pattern is borne out by our school reports with the relationship between attendance and achievement being very obvious. It was disappointing to have to comment on so many reports about the attendance records of young men being concerning.

While 80% might be a satisfying grade for an assessment, if we relate this to attendance it tells a very different story. 80% attendance means being absent for one day of school every week - the equivalent of missing an entire year over five years of secondary schooling.

When you discuss your son's report with him please do consider his attendance record and the implications this will have for his education - either positive or negative. Regular school attendance is a positive habit that most young men have, a habit that has developed with the support of their whānau. Likewise, irregular attendance is a habit that has developed - unfortunately, in some cases, with the support of whānau.

We will continue sending our regular Attendance Reports in 2024 and do ask that you continue to Make School the Priority for your son.

Make School The Priority — Image by: PNBHS

Meri Kirihimete ǀ Merry Christmas🎄 to all of our young men, their whānau, our Old Boys community and all of the other supporters and sponsors of Palmerston North Boys' High School. Have a safe and relaxing Christmas and summer holiday break ⛱

Meri Kirihimete ǀ Merry Christmas — Image by: PNBHS

PNBHS Hakihea ǀ December Newsletter 2023

Back to index

PNBHS Library - Latest Acquisitions

Share Article