From the Deputy Rector
The start of 2022 has thrown up more than the usual number of challenges at us. Alongside the rapidly growing number of Covid cases both nationally and in our more immediate community, the media has been saturated with footage of violent protest and abusive behaviour in Wellington and more recently the death and destruction that has accompanied the Russian invasion of Ukraine.
The combination of these events, alongside longer-term concerns such as climate change, create a media-saturated environment with a strong negative emphasis, something that can consequently have a powerful impact. Some young men will require support from parents and other adults in their lives to help keep things in perspective.
The Stoic philosophers emphasised that:
"We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them." - Epictetus, Art of Living
Perhaps more than ever it is important that we emphasise this with young men and indeed all in our lives. Many of the events of 2022 are largely beyond our control. Consequently, the best we can do is to recognise the things that we can exert control over and then to work to respond to these in the best way that we can. Spending some time identifying what we can and cannot control can help us to "see the wood from the trees" and can shift our focus from the negative to the positive; giving our attention to the things we can control. As adults, we often intuitively understand this. However, young men will often require some support to develop the same understanding.
Character Education - Living Our School Values
Much of the work we do to encourage and support the development of our young men's character is focused around our school values Tū Māia | Courage – Ngākau Mahaki | Humility – Te mahi tahi | Industry – Tū Rangatira | Integrity – Tū Whakahī | Pride – Tū Whakaaute | Respect.
We hope that by highlighting and discussing these values we can extend the dialogue beyond the school gate and into the homes of our school community.
Tū Māia | Courage is an apt value to consider as the school year begins. When we use this term we often think of lofty actions, perhaps the physical courage of the soldier on the battlefield, but it is our 'quiet' everyday actions that have perhaps the greatest impact.
Life calls on all of us to be courageous at times, to step out of our comfort zone to do the things that we know need to be done. For many young men, especially those beginning their time at Palmy Boys' this year, the act of simply walking through the school gates requires courage to overcome the nerves and anxiety that naturally accompany such a transition. Signing up to try something new - a new sport, musical instrument or other cultural activity - requires courage. Persevering in the face of challenges in the classroom requires courage. And, the young men who do exhibit courage in these situations, who move out of their comfort zone, will grow because of these experiences.
Further in this newsletter is information about signing up for some of our major winter codes (major in terms of player numbers) and over recent weeks we have shared information about signing up for itinerant music lessons. We do encourage you to work with your son to help identify the opportunities for him to fully engage in school life and in particular to find opportunities to move him out of his comfort zone and try something new.
Moral Courage
As we journey through life we all develop our own moral code, an understanding of what is right and wrong. Our moral education begins soon after birth and is heavily influenced by our whānau and the other adults we spend time with. As young men develop their peers begin to exert greater influence, often to the chagrin of parents. Those with a strong moral compass will often find these times easier to navigate. It is never too late to explicitly reinforce with your son the moral code that you hope he will live by. Doing so may well help him to have the moral courage necessary to make good decisions when he is called to do so.
Living Our Best Life
Ruia taitea, kia tū ko taikākā | Shed those outer layers and reveal your internal courage.
In explaining this whakataukī in 'Aroha: Māori wisdom for a contented life lived in harmony with our planet', Dr. Hinemoa Elder asks the question 'What is it going to take for us to live our best lives?' and describes digging through our layers to find the central core, our "strong inner heartwood". Questioning ourselves and truly and honestly reflecting on who we are and our behaviour requires courage because sometimes we may not like the answers. However, it is an essential step to helping us become the best version of ourselves that we can.
Becoming a person of outstanding character requires introspection; taking the time to think seriously about our thoughts and actions, as it is these things that define who we are. This necessitates a certain level of maturity and it is likely that most young men will require prompting through this process so they are guided to reflect on their actions. In doing so we hope that they will begin to realise the person they want to become and find the inner strength necessary to support this journey.
Community Service
Providing service to the school and community is encouraged and is a key component of both our Character Education and Leadership programmes. Providing service helps one to build connections with their community, helps to build empathy and generates a sense of belonging - something that is so important for good mental and physical health. Unfortunately, one of our major involvements for term one, the Relay for Life, has been cancelled. However, our Prefects have not let this stop them. They have started fundraising in support of the fantastic work that the Cancer Society does in our community and will continue this over the coming weeks. Thank you to the Mad Butcher Palmerston North and everyone who has supported the sausage sizzles so far. Thank you also to everyone in our community who donated goods in support of the appeal for the people of Tonga who experienced the devastating effects of a volcanic eruption and tsunami earlier this year. We do encourage all young men to put their hands up and get involved in opportunities to provide service and to support their community.