From the Deputy Rector
What is it that motivates us to give our best effort, to learn something new, to persevere in the face of challenges or to dig deeper when obstacles are put in front of us? There are many different components to an answer to that question, but Tū Whakahī or Pride is integral to our motivation, perseverance and determination. After all, if we are not to be proud of our achievements, why make the effort?
Writing in 'Pride: The Secret of Success' Professor of Psychology Jessica Tracy highlights the positive influence that comes from developing an appropriate sense of Tū Whakahī | Pride. She stipulates that "pride is one of the most important motivational forces propelling human achievement, creation and innovation." Furthermore:
"Pride makes us care about how others see us and - just as important - how we see ourselves. It makes us want to feel good about ourselves...it prods us to figure out who we want to be and then to do whatever is needed to become that person. The desire to feel pride can consequently push us to work hard and strive for excellence."
The Merriam-Webster's Dictionary provides two very different meanings of pride: (i) inordinate self-esteem/conceit, and (ii) reasonable or justifiable self-respect. The difference between the two is strikingly obvious - one a character trait to be avoided, the other to be embraced.
Having a healthy sense of pride in himself, his whānau and his school, alongside other aspects of his life that are important to him, is an important value for your son to develop. However, an excess of Tū Whakahī | Pride, which manifests as arrogance, overconfidence and feelings of superiority, is a vice and this is what leads to Pride's place as one of the 'seven deadly sins'.
Professor Tracy also notes the impact that authentic pride - that which reflects progress and achievements one has had to genuinely strive for - can have on our resilience. It is inevitable that we will face challenges at different times and it is also inevitable that we will at times fail in whatever we set out to accomplish. People with authentic pride can put these challenges and failures into perspective: "They acknowledge them but treat them as temporary setbacks and are soon ready to tackle new goals." Furthermore, she notes that "authentic pride is the emotional response to successes that are hard-won." When our achievements come too easily or are based on luck rather than hard work, our sense of pride is quite different to those occasions when we have really had to work to achieve what we have.
Is the work that your son submits for assessments work that he is proud of? Is the effort that he is making with his academic studies one that he is proud of? These might be questions to stimulate some discussion at home.
In answering the question 'How do you take pride in yourself and your work?', well known American Basketball coach John Wooden, a strong advocate of selflessness and putting others ahead of yourself, advised his players is to change their definition of success: "Success is peace of mind, which is the direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to become the best that you are capable of becoming." Dedicating ourselves to becoming the best version of ourselves that we can is hard work, but it is work we can be justifiably proud of.
Community Service
Tangata ako ana I te kāenga, te tūranga ki te marae, tau ana ǀ A person nurtured in the community contributes strongly to society – Māori whakatauki
Being involved in one's community builds belonging. Having a strong sense of belonging to all of the groups we are part of in our community - to our whānau, school, sports teams and cultural groups, and the wider community - is one of the fundamental tenents to positive wellbeing. Volunteering, or being involved in community and service activities, helps us to develop this sense of belonging. And, doing something for others is something that we can be justifiably proud of.
During term one our young men have supported the appeal for Tonga following the devastating volcanic eruption and tsunami, have fundraised for the Cancer Society, including the very successful Swim Relay for Life, have promoted the Red Cross New Zealand appeal to support refugees in Ukraine and are gearing up to support the RSA in the annual Poppy Day appeal which will take place in the upcoming school holidays. It is fantastic to see the wide support for each of these causes across the student body and the number of young men who give their time to be actively involved.
Ole ala ile pule, o le tautua ǀ The road to leadership is through service – Samoan proverb
