Kia ora whanau

Ko Tallulah taku ingoa

No Ahitereiria ahau

Ko Hikurangi te maunga

Ko Taumarere te awa

Ko Ngatokimatawhaorua te waka

Ko Pikitu te marae

Ko Ngapuhi te iwi

Kia ora. I’m Tallulah

Tēnā tātou katoa

Ko Ōtohi me Taupiri ngā Maunga

Ko Whirinaki me Waikato ngā Awa

Ko Mātaatua me Tainui ngā waka

Ko Te Awamarahi, Tahunapa me Reretewhioi ngā Marae

Ko Tamakaimoana me Ngāti Te Ata ngā Hapu

Ko Ngāti Maniapoto, Ngāi Tuuhoe, me Waikato ngā Iwi

He Pākehā hoki ahau

Ko Lilly Tōku ingoa

If there’s one thing I could wish for, out of anything in the world, I wish I could time travel. There’s honestly absolutely nothing worse than going onto my phone, on a normal Thursday morning, going about my day as per usual. Then I open up snapchat, instagram, or my mothers facebook, and I see the dreaded words ‘3 years ago today!’.

And it's the most awful, disgusting, horrendous photo of me with a half blonde half ranga blunt front fringe and a cat design t-shirt and a grey cotton scarf with denim shorts over green strippy leggings, and it just ruins my entire day. Time travel would allow me to go back to that day, steal the scissors out of her hand and hide all the hair dye in the world.

I didn’t invent time travel during my time here at Queen’s, but if I did, I would send younger me some inspirational and educational messages to help her through high school, and life in general.

This is what I would say:

Dear Year 9 Tallulah.

Please chill. You will fly through this year, you’ll make friends, and you’ll be on your path to great potential. Dear Year 9 me, I miss you. I miss how easy it was for you to do everything, to meet deadlines, to get straight Excellences, even to get out of bed in the morning. Yes, you had to ask your mum for $2 every week so you could get a frozen coke from Burger King on the way to Volleyball on Fridays, but you had it the easiest.

Dear Year 9 Lilly. Kia tau, the fact that you came from Kura Kaupapa won't be as bad as you thought it would be. You will finally be able to understand what's going on in class and you’ll be able to understand all the assignments. In fact, you’ll end up taking English and history up to Level 3.

Dear Year 10 Tallulah. You’ll zoom through this year too. No literally, zoom. There's a global pandemic. You’ll spend weeks inside with no one but your sisters. It will be so, so boring. Dear Year 10 Tallulah, don’t waste your time on people who will never appreciate you for who you are. You will find your best friends soon, and you’ll see how lucky you are. Dear Year 10 Tallulah, your friends are just joking when they say they want to get you deported. I’m pretty sure.

Dear Year 10 Lilly. This year is the hardest, there was a massive pandemic, school went weird, and you were stuck at home full time. But it's ok, because it didn't stop me from being successful in NCEA the next year.

Dear Year 11 Tallulah. Another lockdown! How fun. Dear younger Tallulah, your older sisters are not as annoying as you think they are. In less than three years, they’ll be moved out of home, and you are going to wish you never wasted your precious time you had with them. Dear Year 11 Tallulah, you are going to land your first plane this year, and you’ll figure out that you want to be a pilot. Dear Year 11 Tallulah. Please don’t get a blonde front fringe. You will regret it.

Dear Year 11 Lilly. The highlight of this year was your science extension camp that you went on with this amazing girl called Tallulah, who will stick with you throughout the rest of your high school years. You moved around a lot but it's ok, you’ll find your way back home and you will not be able to wait to move out after Year 13.

Dear Year 12 Tallulah. You’ll find out about your chronic autoimmune disease this year. We’ve watched our family go through it, and it looks absolutely miserable, but it is not the end of the world. You’ll start to give up on school, but you will hang in there, because these marks are the most important ones for the next few years. Dear Year 12 me, stay positive. Stop growing up so fast! These are your last years as a teenager, please don't take them for granted. Outside of school, dye your hair, cut it, wear makeup, make your own jewellery, get back into art and painting. Dear Year 12 me, don’t work 40 hour work weeks during school. It is NOT a good idea.

Dear Year 12 Lilly. You performed on the national secondary school Kapa Haka stage and it was amazing. We went through some difficult moments but we stuck with it and got Level 2 endorsed with Excellence.

And finally, dear Year 13 Tallulah. The final stretch! As a Prefect, Board of Trustees Representative, Peer Support Leader, all on top of Level 3, with a job and a radio show to run, you have to learn to juggle it all, while still keeping up that gorgeous smile and amazing can-do attitude. Which you definitely struggled with, but look at you now.

Dear Year 13 Lilly. You became Maareikura prefect, even though you did not want to have to do a speech at the Assembly and had to rewrite your speech a hundred million times. Dear Year 13 Lilly, before you know it, you will be finished school with Level 3, and UE, and finally be able to move out of home.

There are a few things that have gotten me through these past few years. I am the third of four daughters, which means I have had experience both as a younger sister and an older sister. Now that I can see how far I’ve come, it has made me realise that I don’t know how I would have grown up properly without my sisters beside me. I truly believe I couldn’t have had a full life experience without running into my little sister's room crying after I just hit a seagull on my way home from work. I didn’t know what friendship meant until I went on a late night drive with my older sister, and suddenly 11pm turned to 7am and we had actually lost our voices from talking about everything, from the existence of God to the things that disgust us at McDonalds. My sisters are my best friends, my coworkers, my greatest enemies and my favourite people ever.

My friends have also been on a rollercoaster. It's taken us years to get to where we are, but I wouldn’t change a second of it. From jetty jumping to Op shopping, to making our own band in a music studio in Year 11, to sleepovers and gig nights, my best friends are my safe place. Most times they are the only reason why I want to come to school, to see them, gossip, share music and update each other on life. But that’s only my group of best friends. I’ve also made connections in different classes over the years that will be a highlight of my high school years. For example, my history crew, who can always be found crying at 11:59 the night of a due date, or my whānau class who are always bringing the best energy to any room.

I hope, in a few years, that time travel exists, so I can come back and relive the best parts of high school. I have no doubt I will go into next year, and the years after, and create new memories, find my passions and meet new people, but I only got one high school in my whole life, and I’m glad it was Queen’s.

“Kia whakatoomuri te haere whakamua. I walk backwards into the future with my eyes fixed on my past”

Tena koutou katoa.