“Writing is boring!” this is a pretty common statement bandied around intermediate classrooms. So our Year 7-8s have been having some fun with crafting satire, sarcasm and mockery by writing about teachers. Our favourite victim of late has been Matua Liam. Enjoy.
Occasionally, Matua Liam would sunbathe in his speedos in England, thinking he would get a suntan. It really took him a while to realise that it is far too cold over there. He now lives in New Zealand. On a sunny day after work, he would sunbathe. Matua Liam still does not have a tan.
William Millward - Year 8
Arrogantly, Matua Liam sauntered to the edge of the pool, eying Matua Pete who was glaring at him from the other side. Matua Pete chuckled to himself. Time to take this idiot down a notch. He knew he could beat Matua Liam easily; he was a real ape. As if to prove this point, Matua Liam produced a banana from thin air, brandishing it at Matua Pete. His opposition grinned. Was he supposed to be afraid?
~Excerpt from Bananarama ~ Iemaja Hassell Year 8
Liam swam deeper and deeper, bubbles surrounding him and blurring his vision. And there it was. His beloved banana was, his beloved banana, right there in front of him. He snatched it up quickly before any of the swimmers noticed it was there.
He emerged from the water, coughing and spluttering, heaving himself out of the pool. But he had done it. His lunch had done it. His banana was safe. Everyone started whispering in clusters, debating why on earth this janitor just dove into the pool to rescue a banana.
[ Excerpt from The Janitor’s Banana ] ~ Ayla Standley, Year 8