https://www.allright.org.nz

This website provides you with a wealth of practical ideas on looking after yourself and your whanau. We recommend a visit.

Senior exams and assessments, Covid19 and the normal trials and tribulations of teenage years are likely to be the cause of some anxiety in your households so it may be useful to remember the practical advice of Clinical Psychologist, Dr Lisa Damour, who has expertise in working with girls, particularly in the realm of healthy and unhealthy stress and anxiety:

• Help them get more sleep – we handle things better when we’re not brittle or frazzled
• Breathe through panic – breathe slowly and deeply to signal the brain that everything’s ok
• Frame school stress as positive – it can improve performance. Help them see that their work schedules and assessments are designed to help them to build endurance for life after school
• Empathy is better than reassurance – rather than “don’t worry” try “this is a big deal but I think you’re going to be ok”
• Worst-case scenario – help your daughter strategise. Try “What’s the worst that could happen?...Ok, what will you do then?”… “Good idea and if that doesn’t work?”…
• Don’t let them avoid the stressful situation – our desire to protect our girls might bring relief in the medium term but robs them of the feeling that they could have managed the situation
• Teach them to decode social media – it’s not real life. Help them to take a step back and get some critical perspective about their friends’ online narratives
• Teach perfectionist girls to make less effort – encourage efficiency and being tactical rather than a focus on hard work (which can be unsustainable) to avoid burn-out

Some helpful tips if you’re concerned:

1. Maintain a strong relationship and keep lines of communication open. Good listening skills go a long way

2. Encourage your daughter to stay connected with her friends and others she trusts

3. If at any time you have concerns about your daughter’s mental health, talk with her

4. Know where to go for support, both for you and your daughter and follow-up quickly. A trusted GP is a good place to start

5. Don’t hesitate to be in touch with us. We are here to support and work with you and your daughter

Contact any of the following: our School Psychologists, Deputy Principal (Student Care & Development), your daughter’s Dean or Tutor.