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District 9980 —

More "gems", some light-hearted, some thought-provoking, culled from the many Club Bulletins received and read.

Invercargill South: Parting Thoughts

“Puritanism is that haunting feeling that someone, somewhere else, is having fun!”

“A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him”.

Dunedin North: Speaker.

It is International Drive electric week. Pam McKinlay explained to us that electric cars were not new but had been around for almost 200 years in various forms!!!

Clara Ford, wife of Henry Ford refused to travel in a petrol driven car preferring a Baker electric car. There were over 15,000 of these cars and there were plenty of charging stations. The cars appealed to women as they were cleaner and no cranking was required. Women's fashion was developed to go with electric cars!! In NZ, Christchurch used to be the centre for cars and the City Council used to charge them overnight. In 1898 the world speed record was held by an electric car and for several of the subsequent years.

Now they are beginning to be more popular, not only because of environmental issues but they are cheaper to run. They require less parts and are very reliable. At present you can get free charging from public charging stations, the number of which is increasing rapidly throughout the country.

Some countries have already set dates for the end of sales of new petrol driven cars.

Timaru: The new 2017-18 Members' Directory is available; if you haven't got yours yet ask Robyn Baldwin for a copy. As always there are a couple of corrections needed:

On page 8, Jenny Ensor's husband should be Basil, not Jenny!

On page 10, our newest member, Keslie Parish, joined in 2017, not 1905 (which is actually the date Rotary was formed).

Waimate: A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn’t happen.- Winston Churchill

Invercargill North: ROTARY HOUSE PROJECTis progressing well. All wired up, gib stopping underway, kitchen fit out courtesy of Mitre 10, drapes and flooring through Guthrie Bowron and discounted whiteware from

Fisher & Paykel. 500 hours of Rotary labour so far. House should be finished in October followed by an open home for sponsors to show off their products with a sale around mid November. There is news about the project in the Southland Express and NZME most weeks. Southland Real Estate will be the auctioneers at no fee. All this started with the vision of an Invercargill North Rotarian Richard Boyde-Manson

Queenstown: “The key characteristics of a Vibrant club are diversity, energy and fellowship. A Vibrant Club will have a diversity of gender, ethnicity, socio-economic levels and general abilities. It will have a high level of energy, enthusiasm and participation. Vibrant Clubs will do a range of different activities and will have a vision of the Club as an organisation that makes a difference in the community. A Vibrant Club will welcome change and all that goes with it. It will never rest on its laurels and will be eager to get onto the next project, fellowship event, outing etc. Its members will grow their skills and make a difference locally by being involved as champions of projects and officers of the Club. Fellowship and connection will be eagerly sought and engaged in.”

Fiordland: Steve Norris. As Chair of the Kepler Challenge organising committee Steve was able to give a brief history of this running event on the Kepler track. The event started in 1996 with 240 runners and involves 150-200 volunteers. The event now caters for about 450 athletes in the main event and 200 in the Luxmore Grunt. The weekend attracts runners from all over the world and registrations fill online in under 3 minutes each year. Funds raised are donated back to the community – over $250,000 in the last 10 years.

Timaru North: C83 won the raffle for Colin Beattie before chairman Eddie Moir fessed up about his lack of speaker. As penance, he invited questions on any topic. Eloquence flowed as he responded about horse riding in the Pyrenees; hard-working Polish (relation?) assets to Scotland; Tessa May without Scotland (or visa versa); Brexiting under binding laws and treaties; Cheap oil/gas, but revenue dropping from billion a day. This led to his Morris Oxford driving, superseded by VW and Audi, and why he likes and loves them respectively. Media (mis)handling of real estate stats was next followed by issues with rental property management and low housing standards -all adding up to how nice is it to be in Timaru. Mark Oldfield gave VOT and we all went home a tad early.

Dunedin Central: After 10 years old, wife starts to think their kid looks strange & decides to do a DNA test. She finds out that the kid is actually from completely different parents.
WIFE: Honey, I have something very serious to tell you
HUSBAND: What’s up?
WIFE: According to DNA test results, this is not our kid
HUSBAND: Well you don’t remember, do you??
When we were leaving the hospital, we noticed that our baby had pooped, then you told me "Please go change the baby, I’ll wait for you here." So I went inside, got a clean baby and left the dirty one there!!

Invercargill Sunrise: “My wife and I were happy for twenty years, then we met.” – Rodney Dangerfield

and “One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures" – George W. Bush

Mosgiel: A man tells his doctor that he’s incapable of doing all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination is over, he says, “Okay, Doctor. In plain English—what’s wrong with me?”

“Well, in plain English,” says the doctor, “you’re just lazy.”

The man nods. “Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.”


Wife sends a text message to her husband on a really cold winter morning: My windows totally frozen, will not open.
Husband replies: “Carefully pour some warm water over it and tap the edges first with your hand, if that doesn’t work, then gently with a hammer.”
15 minutes later, the wife texts back: “Oh no, I think the laptop is now totally gone.”

Waimate: 13 September 1933 ~ The Labour Party’s Elizabeth McCombs became NZ’s first woman Member of Parliament, winning a by-election in the Lyttelton seat caused by the death of her husband James who held the seat since 1913.

Wanaka: Why are Pirates Pirates? Cause they RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

In shocking news Matt gets a leg of lamb cheaper in London than he would in Wanaka!!

Invercargill North: Opening thought from Rowly Currie “Politicians and nappies have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason”

Dunedin East: Going for a holiday cruise was popular after the Second World War until the convenience of air travel put an end to this. Years later, people are going back to cruises for various reasons. It is as easy as choosing where you would like to go then choosing from a vast array of ships.

You can choose where you want to sleep on the ship however the higher up on the ship gets more expensive.

Most of the ships these days are diesel electric.

Entertainment can vary from ship to ship but there are shows, cinemas and adventure parks on most of them now.

There are people who choose to live on cruise ships which can work out to be more economical than living in a rest home.

Timaru: Life is like a camera - focus on what's important, capture the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don't work out: take another shot.

Invercargill East: “Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship” -Buddha

Queenstown: It is great the talent that we have within the club to string together such entertainment at very, very short notice.

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Peer Support, a Rotary sponsored programme which helps high schools build leaders who support junior students, lost one of its greatest advocates recently. Peter Allen, a member of the Rangiora Rotary Club, died peacefully four and a half months after being diagnosed with Motor Neuron Disease. Peter’s support, commitment and enthusiasm for the Peer Support programme has ensured its continuation throughout the country for many years. The Peer Support Trust acknowledges his outstanding contribution and he will be sadly missed.

Please visit www.peersupport.org.nz to see how valuable this programme is in schools.  

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Past District Governor and current Rotary Area Coordinator and International Trainer John Prendergast received the Southland Westpac Business Awards 'Business Personality' Award for outstanding service to business and the community, regionally, nationally and internationally.

John is clearly, and deservedly, held in very high regard in the Southland community, but this award also demonstrated to those who attended the presentation dinner the value of what Rotary does in and for our community. Representatives from most of the clubs attended in support of John’s nomination, and were delighted with the outcome (the dinner was good too, apparently). Well done John!

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The New Zealand Government has confirmed it will contribute to Rotary New Zealand new funding for the Global Polio Eradication Initiative (GPEI) to help the global fight to end polio.

They will provide a further NZ $5 million to contribute to ending polio transmission in the last remaining countries of Afghanistan, Nigeria and Pakistan. New Zealand funding to GPEI will purchase and distribute polio vaccines; support polio surveillance and monitoring; fund immunisation campaigns and strengthen routine immunisation systems.

Through the work of GPEI and donors, including New Zealand, an estimated 16 million people are active who would have otherwise been paralysed by polio, and the world has saved more than US$27 billion in health costs.

Rotary New Zealand www.rnzwcs.org gratefully acknowledges the support of Foreign Affairs Minister Gerry Brownlee and his officials who have worked collaboratively with them to achieve this outcome. GPEI Rotary spokesperson in New Zealand, Stuart Batty said “The New Zealand Government can be justly proud as it continues its support to this important global initiative, and this announcement brings their total funding for GPEI to in excess of NZ $10 million”.

The world has made great gains in the fight against polio. The incidence of the disease has decreased by more than 99 per cent since 1988, with just ten recorded cases of polio so far in 2017.

Rotary is committed to ensure that this success is continued to the point where there are no new polio cases. If one case remains, the risk that polio could resurge and spread to countries that are now polio-free remains. “When polio has been removed, it will join smallpox as the only human diseases to be permanently eradicated from the world.” Stuart Batty said.

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