I often say that a message for our College community is more effective coming from the blazer, than the suit!

Johan D’Cunha’s speech, articulately delivered at the Bishop Lyon’s Shield where he was placed 2nd and in my opinion, warranted another airing at assembly.

Entitled ‘Boys will be Boys’ it was most apt to share also with all the boys and it has given boys and staff an opportunity to discuss this issue further.

Johan’s speech bluntly spoke about how idiotic behaviour by boys is many times excused or explained by the often used saying “boys will be boys”. He went on to say that if that behaviour is excused then boys are given the licence to continue to behave inappropriately – and he bluntly gave examples from our own community and others recently in the media, of boys behaving badly which often had significant consequences.

Johan outlined boorish behaviours at parties, inappropriate use of social media or incidents where boys or young men indulged in activities that were illegal. He not only pointed the finger at himself, his fellow students, but boys and men as a whole.

His powerful response to such behaviour was his message to conclude his speech and I quote word for word…

In what world is it right to defend these actions and write it off as just boy’s being boys. By claiming it is purely boyish behaviour we create a stereotype that it’s okay and acceptable for boys to act like animals. By not addressing this stereotype and not holding boys accountable for their actions we allow this behaviour to become the norm. And honestly that’s a really low and frankly problematic standard to set for boys.

By using the excuse, Boys will be Boys every time a boy messes up, we undermine the selfless good work that the majority do. Boys can be better. Sam Johnson a local boy who created the Christchurch Student Army during the 2011 earthquakes, called on others to Serve for New Zealand on ANZAC day. Jed Joyce, former Bedean, at just 15 years old purchased the Rollickin Gelato franchise to fundraise for his world challenge trip to Vietnam and Cambodia. It’s now a thriving sustainable hub for gelato loving Cantabrians. And what about the boys who give up their time to coach sports teams, tutor junior lads, organise school events, fundraise for charity, carry a woman’s groceries, mow the neighbour’s lawn… the list goes on! These are the boys we should all aspire to be.

Look our brains may be wired differently but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be held accountable if we screw up. Society needs to expect more from boys than childish antics and stupid behaviour. By saying Boy’s will be Boy’s when we mess up it becomes a shield that boys can cower behind when we refuse to acknowledge our mistakes. And right now, as a boy, I’m asking everyone here to stop saying ‘Boys will be Boys’, to lower the shield, because we have to be better.

As I said above the best messages we share from our boys are often from the boys themselves. Well done, Johan.

Until next week

Justin Boyle
Rector