Supporting our students so they start a new school year off on the right foot involves more than merely ensuring they have shiny and comfortable new shoes. Here’s what our children really need to help them take their first step back into the schoolyard – and classroom – with confidence (by DANNIELLE MILLER)

1 RESILIENCE 

There will be days that are stressful and leave them feeling overwhelmed. Don’t rush into fix-it mode too soon; the maths teacher they say is too strict may end up becoming their favourite. Give your child some time to adjust to new teaching and learning approaches, and encourage them to develop their problem-solving skills. Praise progress and encourage them to focus on their achievements rather than obsessing over any small missteps they may make (“Tell me about something you did well at school this week”). 

2 A ROUTINE 

At the beginning of the year young people are full of good intentions, so harness that positive energy and get them into some solid after-school study patterns. They don’t necessarily have to stick to a set schedule every day, but the length of time they commit to spending on school work should remain consistent. Study skills expert Dr Prue Salter tells Body+Soul that if they don’t have homework they should still block out that time and write up their notes or read a book. “Once home learning becomes part of the daily routine,” she advises, “parents won’t need to engage in constant arguments about it.” 

3 INVITATIONS 

Activities such as swimming or watching a movie can encourage fragile new friendships to flourish. Your child may feel some anxiety about finding new friends. Encourage them to get involved in school activities where they are likely to meet kids with similar interests. If they have changed schools (or perhaps started at a high school that has required them to leave their old primary school buddies behind) let them keep in touch with their old friends, too; it is important they have a few different social networks they can draw on. This way, if one network collapses, they will still feel like they belong as they will have a tribe elsewhere. 

4 TIME MANAGEMENT SKILLS 

Our children need to view school (and homework) as a marathon, not a sprint. Work with them if they’re staying too focused on an upcoming test or big assignment at the expense of their other tasks – and ensure you’re also discussing their growing competence. As difficult as it may be, this may mean letting your child stumble every now and then. Doing most of the assignment that was left until the last minute may seem like it is helping short term, but long term they will be better off developing strategies to manage their own time and to-do list. A lesson that can be fasttracked by accepting the consequence of their choice not to do the work (or doing it haphazardly) may be a lower grade.

5 REASSURANCE 

At the end of my daughter’s first week at high school, I had a huge cuddly toy chimpanzee waiting as a surprise for her on her bed. I wanted her to know that while she was growing up, some things – like her mother’s love, and the thrill of finding a snuggly primate – would remain a constant. He was quickly christened her “comfort monkey”, one she would lay all over when she was overwhelmed at the end of a particularly exhausting school day. He’s still there now and just recently saw her through her first day at university. Dannielle Miller is an education and parenting expert.

Dannielle Miller is an education and parenting expert.

How to stave off that "How was school today eye-roll..."

Ask your child how their day at school was, and the answer will almost certainly be a monosyllabic “Good” or – even more annoyingly – no response at all beyond a sigh and a roll of the eyes. Tired of banging your head against this brick wall? 

Try one of these conversation starters instead: 

Did anything funny happen today? 

What frustrated you? 

Who had the yummiest-looking lunch, and what did they have? 

If you were the teacher, what’s one thing you would have done differently today? 

If they still don’t want to talk, try not to take it too personally. 

Thirteen-year-old Rose once told me she loves her mum but ends up having fights with her because “when I get home from school, she wants to talk to me and asks me about my day. I’m too tired to talk. Plus, I have already lived it once, and I don’t want to live through it again.” Sound familiar? Don’t keep interrogating, but do keep reaching out and letting them know you’re interested in them.