Gillian is away on leave so this week's message is from a sermon she recently gave to the Senior School at the Transitional Cathedral about the importance of choice in life.

I always loved the way Sesame Street started with and followed through each programme with a new letter. Tonight we are going to look at the letter ”L”.

“L” is for Labels, Laughter, Love and Living.

We are all label wearers of some sort.

Consider the pairs of labels below and reflect on which label you are wearing now and which one have you worn at different times of your life.

Ask yourself in each pair if it really matters which one you choose?

Lulu Lemon/Nike

H & M/Supre

Volkl/Rossignol

Crusaders/Blues

Toyota/Volkswagen

Sparkling/still

Life is great/life sucks

God is challenging me/God has deserted me

I can do it/I’ll never do it

I am awesome/I am useless

I am beautiful/I am ugly

How can I help you?/How can you help me?

I have a few drinks to have a good time/I get wasted to forget about everything

Can you help me/I never need to ask for help

I learn from my mistakes/I am a failure

I care/I don’t care

I have choices/I have no choices

How often do we hear the words “life’s not fair”? Was it ever meant to be? It certainly never will be. When my boys were growing up there were two sentences banned in our house – one was “It's not fair” and the other was “I’m bored”.

We are all given challenges, down times, boring times, sad times, in our lives and it does seem that some people are given more than others. It’s what we do with ourselves during those times that really matters.

How do we cope and pull ourselves out of the down times. We always have options and choices. It’s what we choose to do that matters. It’s what we choose that can change the direction of our lives and of others.

Do you know what makes you happy? Find it and do it and do it often.

Find things to laugh about and laugh often.

You need to love to live and you need to live to love.

Find somebody, something to love and love often, you have a choice.

When things get really tough, and sometimes they do, you think they can’t get any worse. How we handle it is so important because there are always others who love us and others who need us, need our love. They need us to stay strong and cope with it all somehow. This is when we show that we have true grit and resilience. We have to hold on to the hope that things will get better.

It’s our choice whether we cope or not. Do we hide away in our own grief wallowing in our own loss and often dragging our friends and family down with us?

It concerns me that we are too often encouraged to look backwards and blame past experiences for what we are today. Where does that get us? It might help us understand and accept the reality of our current situation but blame does not always give us strength to move onwards and upwards. It is how we cope with the situation and mood that we are in right now that really matters.

Do we blame life and others and just sit back and do nothing to help ourselves sort it out? Do we fill our heads with alcohol or drugs to escape our reality? Do we take our anger and resentment out on others? Or do we decide that somehow we’re going to cope and to get stronger? Do we turn to friends and family asking for help, do we find the things that make us happy and make us laugh; pursue them; do we pray and lay our weakness and pain in God’s hands.

What makes you feel happiness and joy – is it loud rock, quiet music, playing, listening, is it watching sport, is it playing sport? Hard work at the gym, reading, reflecting, eating, Walking along the river, on a beach, on top of a mountain, travelling to new places? Is it being with friends and family? Do you surround yourself with positive people who are good for you? You need to know what makes you happy and give yourself that gift often. If you are happy others around you will be uplifted by that.

When you care deeply for yourself and for others you will be strong and flexible like the willow branch which is fed with water and minerals and sunlight. But when you cut yourself off from others and the things that make you happy and strong you will be like the brittle branch that has fallen from the tree.

Choose carefully what labels you wear. God can see the ones you are wearing on the inside and those are the ones that matter.

Love others, love yourself and laugh a lot but never at the expense of others. Life is for living, embrace it wholeheartedly with whatever ups and downs it doles out to you.