'Cats in the Cradle' is a 70’s classic, with the distinctive guitar introduction and the repeated lyrics, 'He’s grown up just like me'. The song tells the story of a father who is held up as the ultimate role model for his child – something common to all fathers.

Unfortunately, this father is caught up in the trappings of working life and it isn’t until late in life that he realises the effect of this on his relationship with his son. While written and performed originally by Harry Chapin, it has since been covered by such diverse artists as Johnny Cash and Ugly Kid Joe, evidence that the message is one that is still relevant to fathers of today. Like it or not, fathers are placed on a pedestal by their children, and they are watching and learning.

Girls are likely to idolise their father, especially in the early years. It is a challenge for fathers to deserve that status and to be the good people they hope their daughters may choose as partners in future. Daughters need to hear from their fathers that they are beautiful. Sadly, there may be movies or magazines or social media feeds in life that want to tell them differently, but a father’s opinion is invaluable. However, when the inevitable mother-daughter conflict occurs – a father might be cautioned to choose sides wisely.

Our parents teach us how to approach our lives and relationships – they teach us how to express and receive love, how to handle disagreements, how to process feelings, etc. This may not sound like the natural domain of fathers, but your daughters and sons will be taking your lead, whether you realise it or not!

Given we celebrated Fathers’ Day last Sunday, perhaps this is a time for dads to reflect on their influence on their children. What strong memories, values, and character traits are you laying down for them?

Fathers can easily be trapped into believing that providing for their family is the most important contribution they can make, especially in the school-age years of their children, when career needs to come first. But it is in these highly impressionable years, that fathers need to be mindful of their influence on their sons and daughters, and the values they are passing on.

In a recent online publication, Michael Grose (a parent educator) reports that most dads want a better relationship with their children than they had with their own father. He suggests that one way to build better relationships is for dads to earn Frequent Father Points. How do you do this?

• Spend time alone with your daughter or son

• Do things together

• Be involved in your child’s life

• Have fun together

What is your account balance of Frequent Father Points? Perhaps this weekend and the term break ahead will afford an opportunity to add more to your ledger. Enjoying time with your child is the key. Our offspring have long since flown the nest, but these shared memories of time spent together continue to enrich us all...

Relationship-building methods will be different for each father, but the key is to start spending time with your children right now. They grow up too quickly, and before you know it they may have ‘grown up just like you’ and are busy getting on with their own lives.