by Judy Maw

Last Word

Bee Park

Imagine this. It’s the St Hilda’s rugby final. There is just about the biggest crowd there has probably ever been at a women’s final. The boys from OB’s and Johnnies are there, even Columba and Otago Girls are there. For argument’s sake let’s just say there is a large portion of Dunedin watching this game. You are a little yr 10 in a senior team of mostly Year 12’s and 13’s. It's the last play of the game, your team have just scored and you are losing by one point. As a Year 10, you have somehow been made to kick the conversion worth 2 points, determining whether your team wins or loses. You kick it, and miss. You have just lost the game for your team. 

Well, this was me 3 years ago. I’ll be honest I was so disappointed that I cried.

Throughout my high school experience, especially after this, I have come to understand that disappointment is inevitable and unavoidable. Whether it be you disappointing someone or someone disappointing you. Even something disappointing you, like failing an internal you worked so hard for. It really is just part of life and we have to learn how to handle it.

Sometimes what’s best for us means disappointing others. If you’re too busy and need to quit something because it isn't good for your mental health, obviously the coach or teacher will be disappointed by you quitting, but I’m sure they’d rather your mental health be good. If someone disappoints you by bailing on plans you had last minute, you can think damn that sucks or you can think yay now I have a free day to do whatever I want. Plus, really it’s their loss because they don’t get to see your beautiful face. Or if Coronavirus screwed up your holiday plans. That’s a hard one to change your attitude on, but think of all the good things, like how privileged you are that we are even allowed out of our homes.

Overcoming disappointment is all about changing your attitude. It means accepting that it has happened and that there is no changing it, then simply moving on.

So next time you disappoint someone or get disappointed, sure you can wallow in it for a while, put your sad playlist on and have a cry. But once you’ve done that then you have to get up and just get over it. It has happened, so there is no point dwelling on it.

Look, I still clearly remember that kick I missed 3 years ago, but really in the grand scheme of life what does it matter. These things happen. We lost. So we changed our attitude, came back the next year and won the final.