Last Word

When I started NCEA, I was an excellence student, sure, I got a couple A’s here and there, mainly in maths, but generally, I was good. Then last year, I got a bit more on my plate, my year got more complicated and I started getting merits. And now this year, well we all know that this year’s been a real doozy, but now, I’m scraping by internals, staying up late more and more to do last minute work, and I feel like I am always behind. 

I used to be so smart, prepared, organised, confident even. And then, *click* gone, what happened? Well I asked my mum this a couple weeks ago, I had come out of my room after being in there for a few hours and I just started breaking down. I told her how worthless I had become, how useless, how everything was going downhill. The only thing she told me was something I had often brushed off, but for some reason this time it really stuck. She simply told me to ‘give myself a break.’ 

I think this is something we all tend to forget to do, we place such extraordinary pressure and responsibility on ourselves that when we don't achieve these expectations, we think we’ve failed, when in reality, we’ve done our best. Sure, you may not think that your best is as good as somebody else’s or last year’s but if that’s your best, that’s all that’s important. No matter what score or grade or time you got, try to give yourself a break. Try to remember that it’s still a victory, despite maybe not feeling the best about it, in whatever that moment is, you tried your best, you learnt, grew and experienced. 

Don’t let life be a constant competition between you and yourself. Bettering who you are is a great thing, but remember that you are still a human. You struggle, make mistakes, get A’s in maths like a lot and ya know what, that’s ok, because it’s still your best. So next time you find yourself feeling that pit of failure, remind yourself that you tried, your best will always be your best and that you deserve to give yourself a break.