Thanks to those that took the time to read my last post. I hope you found it useful and have been able to use some of the ideas. This edition is a continuation from there.

We also had a lecture on positive self talk and learning when self talk is harmful and being able to separate fact from fiction. Sarah emphasised the importance of teaching our young people self worth, how to manage negative thoughts, inner strength, self care and self love. Intervention at the cognitive level could involve positive self talk, reasonable thinking and reframing. For example I am worried about x but last time y happened so it will be ok. Teaching children to identify if their worry is a false alarm or a real alarm, a big problem or a little problem. False alarms create the same body sensations (physiological response) as it's associated with the same emotions. A key element is noticing a thought and that a thought is not a fact. If you 'unstick' from that thought or experience you can process it more easily.

You can coach your child through this by strategically unpacking some of their worries. For example, if they say I had no friends to play with at lunch time - is this a fact or a thought. The chances are if they looked and asked they would have been able to find a friend, so therefore it is a thought and not a fact. By teaching your child the difference between thoughts and facts you will help them to process this information more rationally. You could then equip them with some strategies to solve the problem and encourage them to try them out. In the future you could then say, that's cool, I'm pleased you got the opportunity to try out one of the strategies we talked about, so what did you try? Praise them for trying a strategy, whether it was successful or not. If they didn't try anything, simply suggest they try something next time and recap what they might try.

Routines and visual timetables can be great to help create new neuro pathways and maintain expectations. There are various ways you can create visual timetables, the good old pen and paper, laminated cards or with an app such as ChoiceWorks. This is a great app in which you can take photos to use within the app so the visual cues are photos of your child. Your child swipes each activity to the 'done' side once completed. A visual timetable might be useful for learners feeling anxious coming to school in the morning. A predictable routine can help keep a child in the 'green zone'. The final activity within the timetable could be a picture of your child with their school bag on and a smiling face "I will have a fun day at school today". Visual timetables can be great in the afternoons too, if you find your child is having meltdowns around 5pm try introducing a set routine from 4:30pm. A set routine with things like pull the curtains, read a book, set the table, unpack bag... could help your child get through the 'witchy hour'.

Once again, I'm happy to discuss ideas further if you feel your child needs further support in this area.

Ngā mihi nui

Jeanette Neal