While young children are usually able to tell their parents that no one likes them or that someone is picking on them, older children find it hard to tell their parents or teachers about bullying. Some reasons for this are;

• Fear of the bullies getting back at them
  
• Not wanting to be a “tell-tale”
  
• Feeling ashamed at not being able to stick up for themselves
  
• Lack confidence to seek help
  
• Blame themselves and believe that it is their fault
  

Warning Signs

Some possible warning signs that your child may be being bullied are:

Saying that “no one likes me”, “ no one will play with me”

Excuses to get out of school, feeling sick, tummy aches

Signs of fear, e.g. bed wetting, nightmares

Eating lunch alone

Having unexplained bruises

Starting to bully brothers or sisters

Coming home with books, clothes or belongings damaged

Remember that one or more of these possible warning signs does not necessarily indicate bullying. It is important not to reach hasty conclusions; observe, talk to and listen to your child.

What should you do?

• Don’t over react! Hear your child out. Support, comfort, listen.

• Stay calm and think things through before you do anything. It is important your child feels you are in control. Approach it as a problem to be solved.

• Ask what your child has tried to do to stop the bullying.

Explain that bullies are people who don’t like themselves and bully to make themselves feel better.

• Teach your child to walk away from a bully.

• Tell your child not to become more fun to bully, by reacting, fighting back or crying.

• Tell your child to try to ignore the bully by not looking at the bully or saying anything back.

• Tell your child to think positive things about him/herself and to practice saying these secretly to counter the bully’s teasing.

• Involve your child’s teacher! Teachers won’t be able to do anything until they know about it, and chances are they won’t. This bully may also be picking on other children at the school.