This term our staff have had to support tamariki with a number of playground incidents.

While most of our days are filled with learning and laughter, the last few weeks have required a significant amount of teacher time to manage and resolve conflicts.

Keeping Hands to Ourselves

Many of the incidents we are seeing stem from "play gone wrong." We have seen a spike in tag games becoming too physical, "play fighting" that escalates, and rough play during sports and chasing games.

While the intentions are often just to have fun, the result is sometimes a student getting hurt. I ask that you please have a conversation with your children this week about the importance of keeping their hands and feet to themselves. Remind them that "play" is only fun if everyone involved feels safe and happy. This way tamariki are getting the same message at school and at home. Key messages we share are:

• No play-fighting at school ever

• No tackle games

• If someone does something you don't like say clearly "Stop it, I don't like it"

• If someone does say "stop" you need to stop what you are doing immediately

• If something happens - if someone is mean or hurts them - we tell children to let a duty teacher or their classroom teacher know straight away - often when we are told about something days or even weeks later, it is really challenging to find out what exactly has happened.

Be an "Upstander"

Bystanders are people who witness someone being mean, who stand by and watch .. and WHO DO AND SAY NOTHING.

Very often bystanders don’t know what to do. They are not sure what to do and worry what their friends might say. Instead, we want TPS students to be Upstanders.

STAND UP!

Key messages we share at school are...

• Don't laugh if others are upset

• Don't encourage the person being mean in any way

• Don't participate

• Stay at a safe distance

• Don’t become an "audience"

• Reach out in friendship

• If you notice someone alone and being left out, invite them to join you

• Tell an adult - the duty teacher, your teacher, Andrea, Mike, Lisa or Brigette

There is strength in numbers. Every school and every community has more caring kids than mean kids.

Being an Upstander:

• Takes courage - Telling a friend who is being mean to stop is hard. They may be mad at you. But at least you won't feel guilty for being silent and allowing the behaviour to continue. You will be doing your friend a huge favour in the end by helping them stop really hurtful behaviour.

• Takes compassion - Upstanders have the gift of compassion. They recognise when someone is hurt and take steps to help.

• Takes leadership - Upstanders are leaders in their social group, helping others to recognise ways to get along and be supportive to others.

The Full Picture

When things go wrong at school, children naturally go home and share their experience. However, we often find that children—being children—tell the story from their own perspective. They may focus on what happened to them, while unintentionally leaving out the part they played in the lead-up.

It is very common for two children to be engaged in rough play together until someone gets hurt, at which point it feels like an unprovoked attack to the child who is upset. We encourage you to listen to your child, but also to hold space for the fact that there might be more to the story.

"Bullying" vs. Social Conflict

The word "bullying" is used quite frequently lately. While true bullying happens (and we take it extremely seriously), most of what we have seen this term falls under thoughtlessness, impulsiveness or a one-off instance of meanness.

Labelling a child a "bully" is a very serious thing. We talk to the students about the difference between a mistake in judgment and a pattern of targeted behaviour. Most of our tamariki are still learning how to navigate their big emotions and impulsive reactions.

How We Solve Problems & Respecting Privacy

At our school, we use a restorative approach. This means we sit the children involved down and allow everyone to say their side of the story. We focus on who has been affected and what needs to happen to "make it right."

In many cases, an agreement and an apology are the result. However, there are times when a formal consequence is necessary. This might look like a student losing their lunchtime play or being required to "walk with the teacher" on duty.

A Note on Privacy: It is important for parents to understand that because of privacy regulations, we cannot always share the full details of the disciplinary steps taken with "the other child." Please trust that we are taking action. Some children require specific, ongoing support with their behaviour, and we are always working hard in the background with families and specialists to ensure every student is supported to do better.

What to do if you are concerned

If your child comes home hurt or upset, we want to know. However, we ask that you approach us with questions first.

Step 1: The Classroom Teacher. Get in touch with your child’s teacher. Ask: "My child mentioned an incident today, could you help me understand what happened?" We will always investigate.

Step 2: Team Leader or Deputy Principal. If you feel you haven't received the clarity you need, please reach out to the Team Leader or a DP.

Step 3: The Principal. I am here to help if the matter remains unresolved.

Step 4: The Board. This is the final step in our formal process.

There is more information on our website - under the policies section you will find school docs and our concerns and complaints policy.

We are a team. By working together, staying calm, and asking questions, we can ensure our school remains a safe and happy place for every student to learn and grow.

Ngā mihi nui,

Andrea