“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Those are the heartening words of Joshua 1:9-11. They speak to us today whenever we’re tempted to give way to worry and fear. They are words to live by.

And so I clung to them as I planned my first trip away from New Zealand without Mike by my side. We had always wanted to visit Quebec at Christmas to experience its magical decorations and lights, to be part of a snowy Christmas again, as we had been for the three years we lived in Switzerland. But with Mike gone, it seemed an impossibility.

Then as I lay in bed getting over Covid and feeling a bit sorry for myself, I thought: Well, why not go on my own? Because, as friends pointed out, it’s a very long way and we’re only just starting to bask in a Kiwi summer, and it will be expensive and how will you navigate airports and buses and trains, and really?

Undeterred, I pressed on, found an Airbnb in the old part of Quebec City, arranged flights and trains and then something wonderful happened. I was speaking to my son Matthew just a fortnight before I left. Knowing he was neck deep in business, I hadn’t mentioned my plans earlier. But when I did, he immediately said that he would come to Quebec, too.

And so for six precious days of my trip, I had my son. We walked for hours, ate and drank and savoured the city. He lives in Panama City so falling snow and low temperatures took him back to our time in Switzerland when he was just a lad, absorbing the language as easily as walking.

We visited the oldest church in Canada, the Basilica Notre-Dame of Quebec, resplendent in gold and so richly ornate that I wondered how a simple worshipper could feel at home in such a setting. Twice the church has burned and twice been rebuilt, but it has stood in the same setting for over 300 years. Every day we went there, to sit, to pray and, to be honest, to get warm after the outdoor icy conditions.

For the whole trip through Vancouver, Montreal, Quebec and Toronto, I felt loved and supported, even when Matthew wasn’t around. Sitting alone at lunch wasn’t such fun, but always hovering around was Mike, reminding me of other holidays, telling me I’ve “got this” — even when my boarding pass and passport didn’t match up and I’d been given Soo Ye Wen’s boarding pass by mistake. A very deep breath later and it was sorted.

In fact, I only forgot those words of Joshua when I arrived back in New Zealand and in the queue for immigration discovered I’d left my phone on the plane. That’s when the rubber hits the road, isn’t it? Not when things are going smoothly and it’s easy to feel strong and courageous. But when there’s a slip up, a mistake, a poor decision. And then, panic, and all else goes out the window. Worst case scenarios play a constant loop along with great dollops of self-reproach. And then, finally, calm is restored, phone found and lesson learned. Tout ira bien.

Tui Motu Magazine. Issue 289 February 2024: 21