THE BEGINNING OF a new year always takes me some time to adjust to. Cynicism about new year resolutions aside, it’s hard to resist the reflexive urge to reset and reflect on where I am at.

I still get asked a lot whether I miss being a member of parliament and what I think about various political happenings. The answer is always no, with the rider that I sometimes miss the work I did with constituents in the electorate, but I don’t miss the Wellington political hubbub.

As to what I think about the political fray, whether in this country or elsewhere, I find it increasingly hard to engage in deep conversation about politics with people I don’t know very well. I’ve been reflecting on why that is, concluding that I have deliberately, or otherwise, reduced my focus to the things I can control or have influence over.

Overexposure to toxic politics, alongside the rise and dominance of social media reckons by anyone and everyone in the public domain, have without a doubt led to my withdrawal from most public discourse (bar this column). I know I’m not alone as I see more evidence of people withdrawing from social media platforms.

The dilemma for an activist, such as myself, is how to play any meaningful role in progressing action on matters of social justice that don’t require taking an overt public stand, which doesn’t lead to frustration and angry helplessness through being unable to see change occur or, even, witness a worsening of circumstances.

As I write, fires continue to ravage Los Angeles and major weather events wrack parts of Europe. Donald Trump is, again, about to be inaugurated as US President as anxiety swells inside and outside the US regarding his agenda. Intractable divisions between Palestine and Israel continue.

In Aotearoa New Zealand, the minority ACT Party led by David Seymour is using the Treaty Principles Bill to crack open a nasty divisive debate, reinterpreting and weakening Te Tiriti o Waitangi and widening social division, ultimately legitimising racism. On its heels is the Regulatory Standards Bill seeking to establish principles for creating laws and regulations in New Zealand, yet failing to honour Te Tiriti. An utter travesty. Meanwhile, actual social and economic inequality deepens as policy settings increasingly favour those with money and influence.

This is but the tip of the iceberg in a world where anxiety disorders multiply, especially among the young.

My day job is now in mental health. In that world there is recognition that life is often full of challenging and painful situations, which are sometimes unavoidable and out of our control. While it’s normal to feel anxious when dealing with difficult or stressful situations, instead of becoming overwhelmed, learning to practice radical acceptance reduces the risk that this pain turns into lasting suffering.

The more I look into radical acceptance the more I think there is valuable resonance for those of us trying to live our lives in a constant state of anxiety about the world. Radical acceptance is most often applied in situations when someone is unable to fix or change what has happened or when something has happened that feels unfair — such as losing a loved one or a job.

Grief and disappointment are normal emotions. However, prolonged suffering can result from a lack of acceptance. 

Radical acceptance does not mean agreeing with what is happening or has happened to us. Rather, it enables a chance for hope through acceptance of things as they are.

None of this is easy. It certainly does not mean we pull up the covers and avoid interaction with the world or abrogate responsibility for taking a stand, exercising our vote, or standing up for a set of values. Radical, or rather intentional acceptance, is an option to allow ourself some space.

I am reminded of a quote read long ago from the Serenity Prayer attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr: “to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." Perhaps this is a message for 2025.

Tui Motu Magazine. Issue 300 February 2025: 3