There are many ways to define feminism and pages that could be written about the historical narratives that form the gender equality movement. For the sake of simplicity, I like to use the definition of feminism as the “movement for social, political, and economic equality of women and men”. There have been important gains made in women’s equality, including the right to vote, access to higher education, reproductive healthcare, workplace opportunity and political representation. But there are still many inequalities to be rectified. According to the Ministry for Women the New Zealand gender pay gap sits at 11.8 per cent, a clear, measurable economic disadvantage. There is also the matter of the atrocious statistic that one in five women will experience serious sexual assault in her lifetime and one in three will experience some form of domestic violence.

Feminism is often talked about as a women’s movement which does not welcome men’s participation. It is my firm belief that in order for true gender equality to be achieved, it is crucial to have everyone on board. As Elizabeth Nyamayaro of the HeforShe campaign aptly says: “We cannot achieve an equal world with half the team sitting on the bench”.

As basic rights have been achieved for women, the ways that we address equality are becoming more nuanced and we are beginning to see the subtleties of how women are routinely discriminated against. This more nuanced conversation, particularly with the new spread of information via social media, has opened up conversational space for men to be advocates for women’s equality in everyday life.

So how is this achieved? In particular, how do we engage our younger generation of men to become advocates for gender equality? The White Ribbon Campaign, introduced by the United Nations Development Fund for Women in 2004 and contributed to by various government agencies over the last 12 years, is a great example of an initiative that uses strong male role-models to advocate for men taking a stand against the discrimination of women. A strong quality of this campaign is the focus on targeting clearly negative behaviours such as domestic violence, as well as the more subtle forms of discrimination such as gender stereotyping and “locker-room banter” that reinforces negative behaviours towards women.

The peer-to-peer learning model is an effective community engagement strategy, which addresses the problematic power dynamic of primarily Pākehā government organisations advising communities on the improvements they need to make.

I recently attended an anti-violence conference that strongly advocated for a community approach where everybody in the community is expected to contribute a small amount to the violence-free-community cause. This could be by learning to recognise the signs of violent relationships, knowing about safe spaces that they could refer someone to within the community, learning to be an ethical bystander and being willing to step up if they see behaviours that are of concern. This community model is more effective than organisations, such as local NGOs and the police holding full responsibility for the prevention of violence.

Similarly there are many different ways that men can influence the behaviour of other men. This could be by letting a mate know that jokes about sexual violence are neither funny nor appropriate, making an effort to challenge gender stereotypes by taking on more responsibilities for housework and childcare, and by role-modelling respectful behaviour.

As a starting point it can be transformative to listen, really listen, to the experiences of women and to reflect on how our lives differ from those of men. Most women in one way or another are always adjusting their lives to lessen their chance of being assaulted. This might mean to avoid walking home alone at night, making sure that a friend knows the details of where they are going, or being conscious of the clothing they wear and the impression it may give. These constant adaptations can be so ingrained that women don’t recognise them as ways to protect themselves. Making the space to listen to the lived experiences of the women around us will give a deeper insight into the existing inequalities. It will also create a jumping off point for ideas about how we can be allies in the quest for gender equality.

Published in Tui Motu Magazine. Issue 210 Nov 2016: 30.