Written by Carl Wilkens  Published by World Outside My Shoes, Spokane, WA Reviewed by Shaun Davison

Carl Wilkens was one of the few westerners who chose to stay in Rwanda during the days of genocide in 1994. He introduces the book with some statistics, inviting us to, 

“take your time to articulate each digit and syllable, maybe even reading the following portion aloud, letting your ears hear the words echo off the walls wherever you are.

We lost 18,465 gentle, never-a harsh-word great grand-fathers.
23,659 searching wide-eyed infants.
178,147 do-anything-for-their-families (I mean anything) moms." p8.

The list goes on.

Carl had come to Rwanda with his family in 1990 and was working as the Director of the Adventist Development and Relief Agency, the humanitarian arm of the Seventh Day Adventist Church. When the genocide started, Carl decided that while his wife, Teresa and their children would be evacuated, but he would stay to protect their Rwandan house staff.

The book outlines his daily activities during that horrendous time – going out into streets surrounded by gunfire and armed vigilantes, bringing food and medicines to groups trapped around the city. On many occasions Carl entered hostile situations with an expectation of reasonableness and a cast-iron belief in God’s protection. His actions, those of a few foreigners (notably five Catholic sisters), as well as many tireless locals saved the lives of hundreds of people.

At one point he asks the question, ”

Where was God during the genocide? I say look at these sisters – their supernatural strength and love, the way they followed their conscience – and it answers the God question for me: well not completely, but it begins to answer the God question" p 57.

Accompanying the book is a study-guide to help use the material as a teaching aid to enter the world of the "other". Carl believes that stories and service are two of the most powerful tools for building peace. He tells the story of when he asked a group of armed militia to help collect blankets for a group of orphans – and seeing the transformation as they went from looting to carrying bundles for the orphans.

I'm Not Leaving is about the choices people made, the courage people showed and the sacrifices people gave in the face of genocide. It contains a deeply incarnational aspect, of entering into the world of the "other" and as much as possible, of experiencing it. The book is hopeful and prophetic. In the face of adversity, we too can choose simply to stay.