COMMENT: Kindness Is Practising Love
We’ve been in lockdown, Level 4 of our government’s response to the COVID-19 pandemic. It's been an extraordinary time. While some may remember the austerities of the Great Depression and the ravages of two World Wars, this is my first experience of nationwide restrictions. No doubt we will hear and read about this experience from many sources in the coming months.
Lockdown means we’re at home in our “bubble”. Some of us may have to leave our bubbles because we work in essential services. I’ve found kindness to be supportive, insightful and challenging. Certainly, kindness oils most situations.
I’m an essential worker and drive the Auckland motorway network on virtually empty roads. I’ve been surprised by the message “Be kind. Stay calm” on the huge electronic boards which usually advise motorists of incidents or road closures. It was stunning — I cannot recall an occasion when such a human message has been displayed before. Perhaps this was influenced by Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern’s often-used reminder “Be Kind” when signing off her daily COVID-19 reports.
Love motivates kindness. We remember the mosque attacks in Christchurch and the Whakaari/White Island tragedy last year and the outpouring of kindness across the country and around the world towards the families of those killed and injured, and the front line emergency responders. Kindness is the opposite to and does not countenance violence or hatred. And, as we witness, kindness is a universal form of communication.
We find in all spiritual traditions that the practice of kindness is essential, not only for our personal wellbeing but also for the ongoing survival of humankind.
In the Bible we read: “What does God require of you but to do justice, to love kindness, and walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8).
In the Talmud of Judaism: “The highest form of wisdom is kindness.”
The prophet Mohommad reminded Islam: “Every act of kindness is (considered as) Sadaqah’ (charity).”
The Buddha said: “When words are both true and kind, they can change the world.”
And a Hindu proverb says: “Help your neighbour’s boat across, and lo, your own has reached the shore.”
We can all be kind through simple acts – buying a colleague coffee; phoning someone who needs a listening ear; leaving an unexpected gift at the door. There are millions of ways in which we can show kindness. I was buoyed by many acts of kindness recently when I was recovering from surgery — cards, emails, phone calls, visits. They were encouraging and lifted my spirits.
At times, kindness calls for courage and strength but some think that being kind can have connotations of weakness. During lockdown and after when we are in our bubbles biting our tongue, avoiding rolling our eyes or giving the “for-goodness-sake” look to others, we have faced the challenge of being and staying kind. How many of us would gladly take back a word or action which, on reflection, lacked true kindness?
We’ve been appalled by those individuals who have physically and verbally been abusive to the supermarket staff who have laboured to meet our demands for food and other necessary items. They need our kindness. The lengthy restrictions in our bubbles have meant that people have suffered anxiety and stress for a wide variety of reasons, but we can’t let that overflow as offensive behaviour. Let’s offer these workers an extra kind word when we’re shopping. And let’s not forget all the other front line essential service workers who have earned our appreciation and deserve our kindness and gratitude. We can be kind in our bubbles at home, and in the world.
Dominican Sister Jacqui Ryan is the Spiritual Carer/Chaplain at Harbour Hospice, North Shore, Auckland.
Tui Motu Magazine. Issue 248 May 2020